Nowadays, it seems like low-quality men are the standard. Most women have to deal with it - we can either settle for a subpar guy or try our luck with another subpar guy in the dating pool. I personally experienced this dilemma. At the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend treated me terribly, but I finally stood up for myself. This decision ended up making a huge difference:
1. He Realized Single And 40 Isn't Cute
Men in their late 20s or early 30s often go through a player phase and prioritize their own enjoyment without realizing they're setting themselves up for a lifetime of loneliness if they don't change their ways. Women are partly responsible for this behavior since we tolerate it in hopes of eventually changing them. I decided to break this pattern. When I spoke up, my boyfriend was forced to take a hard look at himself and acknowledge that if he wanted a companion in the long run, he needed to shape up.
2. He Changed Without Me Having To Ask
In relationships, many women are afraid to speak up and potentially create conflict. We don't want to appear clingy, needy, or too demanding. Personally, I always shied away from asking for what I wanted - I wanted my partner to treat me with respect, change certain behaviors, show more care, and so on. Whenever I didn't receive it, I kept quiet and ignored the issue, thinking my standards were too high or unrealistic. However, in my most recent relationship, I didn't have to say anything. I ended the relationship because my needs weren't being met, and that was enough for my partner to realize I deserved better and to make a change.
3. His Friends Didn't Want To Hang Out With A Douche
A guy who is selfish, acknowledges it, and refuses to change cannot sustain a successful relationship. My partner was a conceited individual who boasted to his friends about mistreating me, hoping they would support him. However, his friends were ashamed of his actions and did not encourage him. This was a turning point for him to recognize his behavior.
4. He Took Responsibility For His Crappy Behavior
I was once ignored by my partner, and I decided to walk away from the relationship in a dignified manner. Although I thought about reconciling with him, I refrained from contacting him. Eventually, he approached me and expressed a willingness to work on our relationship. He did not shy away from acknowledging his mistakes and took steps to make amends.
5. He Started Caring About More Than His Own Wants And Needs
Healthy relationships require sacrifices, which involve identifying and fulfilling our partner's desires without hesitation. For instance, it could be sending flowers, a message, or planning a special date. Initially, my boyfriend may not have been comfortable with being vulnerable, but he understood its importance to me. Eventually, these selfless acts became less of a sacrifice and more of a natural inclination to please me. He found joy in making me happy by expressing his feelings, planning surprises, or complimenting me.
6. He Grew Up
A lot of men's chronic immaturity can be attributed to the current relationship standards of our generation. Unfortunately, some women refuse to acknowledge this, leading to the reinforcement of negative behavior. However, I decided to stop making excuses for a grown man who should know how to treat someone he cares about. Once he recognized the need to mature, our relationship improved significantly.
7. He Realized My Needs Were Non-Negotiable
In the past, I've been guilty of having frivolous dealbreakers, but this time, I had legitimate needs for a healthy, loving, and mature relationship. I realized that I needed to prioritize loving myself over idealizing the person I wanted him to be. He recognized the importance of this and respected my decision. If he wanted to be with me, there was no alternative.
8. He Included Me In Life Decisions
To maintain a strong relationship, it's essential for both individuals to incorporate each other into their daily lives. While it may not seem like a big deal, it's the little things that count. A surprise phone call, a text message during a night out with friends, or simply seeking the other's input can go a long way. As my partner gradually started including me in his routine, I realized how genuine he was. He understood that our relationship shouldn't be separate from his everyday life. Being included in his world made me feel valued and more secure in our relationship.
9. He Put Our Relationship First
I was convinced that I was dating a completely different person. It was as if he had transformed overnight. Looking back, I can't recall any signs indicating that he wanted to change. It simply happened naturally. He became less selfish and more outgoing, and I couldn't be happier. I noticed him beginning to make decisions together with me, ensuring that we had dedicated date nights, and asking if he could be of assistance. He transformed from being just a boyfriend to becoming a partner. The best part was that I didn't have to force the change. He did it on his own.