The string of relationships I've had, despite not being successful, have helped me to grow and learn. One particularly valuable experience was when my boyfriend left me for his ex. While it was painful, it also helped me to improve my dating skills.
1. I Learned How To Spot A Cheater
My ex's behavior, such as growing distant, becoming uncomfortable discussing our future and constantly mentioning his ex, were signs of infidelity. It taught me to recognize these signs more quickly in future relationships.
2. I Can See Unhealthy Relationships From Miles Away
This experience taught me to be more aware of men's interactions with their exes. My boyfriend's consistent meetings and communication with his ex was a red flag and ultimately led to greater betrayals. Now, I firmly set boundaries and make it clear that I will not tolerate any form of contact with exes in my relationships.
3. I Became Less Trusting
After the experience, I became more cautious in my relationships. I had been left for an ex and felt humiliated. My boyfriend had chosen to leave me, a loyal and reliable partner, for someone who had hurt him in the past. This experience taught me to be more guarded in the early stages of dating and to take the time to learn more about a potential partner's past before fully opening up.
4. I Learnt Not To Put Up With BS
My ex had a problematic attachment to his ex, as evidenced by his willingness to drop everything and rush to her aid when she called him for help. I used to try to overlook it, not wanting to be seen as a controlling or demanding partner. But now I realize that it's important to speak up if something feels off in a relationship, rather than staying silent.
5. I Set New Dealbreakers
The experience taught me to establish new boundaries in my relationships and to stick to them. One of the key takeaways was to trust my instincts, if something feels off, it likely is. Another was to not tolerate any signs of lingering feelings for an ex, such as making excuses to see them.
6. 'Bad Exes' Are Not Always A Reassuring Thing
My ex taught me that a man's negative perception of his past relationships does not necessarily mean he has no lingering feelings for them. I used to believe that if a guy spoke poorly of his exes, there was no chance of him wanting them back. But I learned that unresolved feelings and intense emotions can still be present in these "crappy" past relationships. Now, I am cautious of any unfinished business in a man's past and make sure to address it before getting involved.
7. I Won't Waste Time On Someone Who's Still Muddled Up In The Past
My ex taught me to be cautious of men who frequently bring up their exes, especially if the breakup is recent. On a first date, a guy I went out with mostly talked about his ex and their bad breakup, which was only a few months ago. It was a clear red flag for me that he was not ready for a new relationship. I now make sure to avoid getting involved with someone who is not over their past.