My Boyfriend And I Do Not Text And I Am Pretty Sure It Is Why We Are Still Together


The idea that texting is essential for a healthy relationship in today's smartphone-obsessed world is widely accepted. However, is it really necessary? My boyfriend and I have stopped texting each other frequently, and it has significantly improved our happiness as a couple.

1. Other Communication Methods Are More Fulfilling

Despite seeming outdated, more "conventional" methods of communication have proven to be more effective for my boyfriend and me. Believe it or not, we talk on the phone most days and meet in person during our lunch breaks instead of relying solely on texts. Listening to your partner's voice creates a stronger bond than reading their words on a screen, making you feel more valued. While a text takes a mere 10 seconds to send, a 10-minute conversation brings much more satisfaction.

2. It Takes Some Of The Pressure Off The Relationship

By reducing our texting expectations, my partner and I have reduced the pressure on ourselves. We now view texting as an extra part of our relationship rather than a necessity that consumes 24/7. This mindset has allowed us to be more relaxed, as we are no longer constantly worrying about responding to the other person. It seems mentally and emotionally exhausting for couples who manage to maintain an all-day, everyday text conversation.

3. It's Improved My Mental Health

My anxiety disorder often causes me to worry about the state of my relationship, with texting triggering some of the worst episodes. In the early days of dating my boyfriend, my brain would decide that his reply took too long (even if it was only two minutes) and I would spiral into excessive worry and upset. However, I have found that deciding that texting is not a priority for me has been a liberating experience. It has helped me to worry less and has eliminated at least one trigger from my life.

4. It Makes Texts Feel Much More Special

I must admit, I wasn't completely honest when I said that my boyfriend never texts me. While we don't text often, the rare messages we exchange have become special to me. They could be anything from a photo of our adorable cat to a funny article he thought I'd appreciate or even a few words of encouragement on a tough day. These infrequent messages are heartfelt and genuinely intended to make me happy, which means a lot to me.

5. We Have More To Talk About In Person

Sharing every minute detail of your day with your partner through constant texting can be risky. This could leave you with little to talk about in person, leading to unfulfilling conversations. Since my partner and I stopped giving each other moment-by-moment text updates, we have had more meaningful conversations during our in-person interactions. Our evening debriefs have become one of the highlights of my day.

6. It Prevents Unnecessary Arguments

It's challenging to accurately interpret tone through text messages, leading to misunderstandings. What may have been meant as a lighthearted comment can be misconstrued as criticism, causing unnecessary arguments and heightened emotions. In-person conversations with your partner are more effective in avoiding such misunderstandings. This is because facial expressions and body language are harder to misinterpret, resulting in clearer communication.

7. It's Improved My Concentration

During the phase where my boyfriend and I were constantly texting each other, I found myself becoming very distracted at work. I would frequently check my phone to see if he had replied yet, even though there was no reason for him to become upset if I didn't respond immediately. This behavior was due to my own anxiety. Nowadays, we don't text each other nearly as much, which allows me to focus on my work without constantly checking my phone. As a result, my concentration has improved, and I'm much more productive.

8. I'm More Socially Confident

I used to rely on texting to avoid difficult face-to-face conversations or even to avoid talking to people altogether. I used to feel very anxious and awkward during in-person conversations, which made me more reclusive. However, since I met my boyfriend, I've gained more confidence in face-to-face interactions. I learned that I could maintain a healthy relationship without constantly texting. As a result, I feel more confident and comfortable talking to people in person, not just my boyfriend but with anyone I meet. I no longer feel the need to hide behind a screen.

9. I've Become More Independent

It can be alluring to share your concerns and difficulties with someone who is readily available, but continuously seeking their guidance can be a dangerous path to take. If you discover that you cannot manage situations without sending your partner a "HELP ME" text, you may be overly dependent on them. Ever since my boyfriend and I decreased our texting frequency, I have become more capable of resolving problems on my own. I still inform him if a significant event occurs, but I am now able to navigate my daily challenges and pressures without requiring him to send me numerous motivational texts.

10. My Phone Bill Has Gone Right Down

Although I am joking a bit, saving a few dollars is always a good thing, isn't it? By avoiding expensive texting charges, I have managed to save nearly $20 each month. That's enough for a few extra trips to Starbucks. Who wouldn't love that?