Being a mother is the best thing that will ever happen to you. But it won't feel like that most days.
Some days will be just rays of sunshine. Your child will be in a good mood. You'll be in a good mood. You'll play, hug and just have the best time together. These days make you feel like the best parent ever and the luckiest person in the world to have that kid.
But then there will come a day when… well, you know. Your kid will scream, you will scream, you'll both cry, you'll wonder if you were meant to be a mom, and things of that sort. You know those days.
And in all honesty, even if everything seems fine on the surface, most days will be hard.
In all honesty, I was never alone in my motherhood struggles. I never spent an entire day alone with my daughter. I was never that isolated.
And yet, motherhood can feel strangely isolating.
You can feel isolated from your friends, your family, even yourself at times. And motherhood will feel nothing like that fairytale your mom made it out to be.
So, what does a girl do at those times?
Well, you talk to a friend.
You have one of those, right?
But the problem is, it can't be just any friend. It has to be a mom friend. Your childless friends won't understand or care much. Trust me, I tried.
I was unfortunate enough to be the first mom in my group of friends. I did know some other girls that became moms as well, around the time I did, but we were never that close.
So, I made the mistake of trying to talk to my friends without kids. And, of course, they were polite, but you could just see the blank behind their compassionate looks. They didn't know. They didn't understand. They got bored.
For a while, I restrained myself from talking about my kid and all those mommy problems.
For the record, you can't talk to your mom about it. Just trust me. Your mom sees things in hindsight. Her opinion will be calming at times, but she's not the buddy you need. She'll put things in perspective, and this can make you feel guilty for feeling the way you feel.
No, my friend. You need someone to complain with until things make sense again.
That's the buddy I needed. But I didn't know it until I found one.
It was at a party at my parents' house. My daughter was playing with her son and we were just chatting mindlessly while watching our toddlers explore the world. Slowly but surely, our casual conversation turned into a rant.
We talked so much we forgot to watch our kids at times. Turns out, she needed a vent buddy too.
We didn't leave a stone unturned, from the moment we arrived at the hospital, before even delivering our kids, to the latest issue we had. It was the best thing ever. I wasn't alone in all of this. All the gross stuff, all the bad stuff, all the annoying stuff.
I felt refreshed. New.
So, my dear mommy, you need a vent, buddy.
A mom, just like you, with a kid of the same age as your kid. Of course, she might not be your best friend. But she will be the best friend to your inner mommy.