Mind Games 101: Why Men Play Mind Games

What are Mind Games?

In a relationship, mind games involve emotional blackmailing and unnecessary strain through mixed signals to make the receiving partner succumb to certain wants. Common examples of mind games include giving the silent treatment, playing hard to get, instigating jealousy by flirting, texting with monosyllables and so on.
It’s a mind game as long as the player tends to toy with the emotions of the receiver to reach a desired end.

Why Men Play Mind games

First, note that women play mind games too. But for this piece, we’ll be speaking from the male perspective.

Reason one

Men play mind games to obtain something he wants from his significant other. If he feels that asking directly is likely to meet with rejection, he is likely to play mind games that lead her to ask what he wants and in a cue to please him, accept to do what she wouldn’t on a norm. He messes with her emotions to get what he wants. Personally, I find this unappealing. If used on rare occasions, it might be acceptable but if often, that’s absolutely tending towards toxicity.

Reason two

Some men feel that playing mind games helps them test out their partner to know how far they are willing to go and how much they are willing to do for their relationship to work. It could show how desperate you are or not. There are better ways to get to know a person. Good conversational and observational skills can help you make discoveries without toying with your partner’s emotions.

Reason three

Some men play mind games for the fun of it and that is actually detestable. Toying with a person’s emotions should never be for fun. Anyone who derives fun from such is clearly not serious about a relationship, is immature, and is unlikely to help you make any progress either.

How to decipher mind games and the motives behind them

When he suddenly stops calling
When he, who often calls to check on you just stops calling suddenly without any notice, this might be him playing mind games. He might just want to know that you miss him and move you to reach out first. Calmly rationalize. Make excuses for his actions. Don’t jump to conclusions. Make an effort to call him. You’ll be able to decipher if it was a push to know if you missed him. But if your man keeps it up, sit him down and get to the bottom of it while conversing with your head, not your heart. The frequency and length of time will let you know if it’s a cue indicating disinterest.

Silent treatment and monosyllables
When you have an issue and he starts giving the silent treatment, he might be doing that to make you apologize first and yield to him. Or you might be in the middle of a flowing conversation and suddenly notice him replying in monosyllables. This might be him way of letting you know you said or did something wrong. Don’t work yourself up unnecessarily and fall into a trap. It might just be something really simple but if this is an habit to coerce you into giving in to him, you need to reevaluate and let him know you know exactly what he’s doing.

Flirting
A guy might do this to incite you to jealousy. He might also just want to see how you would react. Worse still, it might be his way of letting you know he’s no longer interested in what you both shared. Whatever his reason don’t let him toy with your emotions unnecessarily. If a man really cares for you, you will be his focus. Flirting while in a relationship is boyish, never “man-ish”.

Uncaring and Aggressive
This might be a reaction to your action or his way of letting you know something is off. If it continues over a long period, he might be looking for a way to make you Find the relationship exhausting and opt to leave. Don’t let wanting the caring part of him push you to give in to unreasonable demands or be less of a queen.

There are many mind games. Just remember what they have in common – toying with emotions to reach a desired end. This way you’ll be able to identify them.

Whatever a man’s reason is for playing mind games, it’s unnecessary. It’s just often better to sit down and lay things bare. Toying with your partner’s emotions for selfish gain is quite immature and unpalatable.