Maybe You Only Want Him Because You Can Not Have Him


Pursuing someone who is not interested or has moved on from your breakup can be thrilling, but how long should you continue when there is no chance of a relationship? Is it because you desire what you can't have? Here are 9 indications that may suggest so:

1. You Always Want To Get Back Together

Prior to the breakup, you were eager for it to happen because you were tired of dealing with his nonsense. However, after the split occurred, something shifted within you. You began to recall all the positive aspects of the relationship and desired to reconcile with him. In reality, what you truly yearn for is something unattainable - the past.


2. You Go After Guys That Are Commitment-Phobes

The reason you have a clandestine affection for a guy who is commitment-phobic is that you relish a challenge. His lack of commitment to other women in the past adds to his appeal. You desire to demonstrate to yourself that you are an alpha-female capable of winning him over, but you recognize that this is nonsense.


3. You Want To Change Him

It is highly recommended that you refrain from attempting to alter men. Not only is it ineffective, but it is also unfair to only show affection towards a person once they agree to modify specific aspects of themselves. A man who does not treat you well cannot love you. It is a straightforward concept, so it's best to select a good man from the outset and avoid wasting time attempting to change him.


4. You Fall For Taken Men

There is no bigger sign than discovering that men are more desirable when they are in a relationship with another woman. According to my father, a man wearing a wedding ring is more likely to be approached at a bar, and unfortunately, this is frequently the case. It's a competition where the strongest survive: if another woman decides that a man is worth marrying, you'll trust that he is a good catch rather than taking a chance on a man that every other woman has rejected.


5. You Love The Chase

The beginning is an exhilarating and fascinating phase, as everything is novel and the destination is unknown. It's enjoyable to feel a loss of control and to laugh at the fear of rejection. While you're not completely invested yet, the goal of the game is to ensure that he is.

6. You're Bored Three Months In

The first couple of months in a relationship is always the honeymoon phase, but when three months have passed, things start to become real. The pursuit has come to an end, and commitment is now complete. You desired him, and now that you have him, but without the risk, the reward is just not there for you.


7. You Relate Him To Your Self-Worth

Feeling good about yourself shouldn't stem from the fact that you landed a former player. Being with him should make you feel good because of who he is, not because he was desired by many other women. If your admiration for him is solely based on other women's opinions, then your affection is only about appearances.

8. You Feel Like You Have Something To Prove

Do you want to impress your mother by attracting a man like that? Or perhaps you aim to show your friend, who thinks you will never find a good partner, that you can settle down with someone. However, if your sole purpose of finding love is to prove your doubters wrong, it cannot be considered as true love.


9. You Feel Like You're In A Competition

Do you feel like you have won a competition when you successfully attract a man? This should not be the case. Love is not a contest, and other women are not your rivals. Your joy should come from being with him, not from the satisfaction of outdoing a worthy opponent.