Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you don’t even know what kind of person you have chosen to let into your life until it’s too late. A lucky few hit the relationship lottery by having people who are loving, kind, considerate and happy in their lives.
But things could take a completely opposite turn. The charming person you considered a friend because they stepped into your life when you most needed them could be a helpless narcissist whose sole purpose is to turn your life into a living hell.
Fortunately, you do not have to get in too deep before you know you have a soul-sucking narcissist in your life. Here are some clues on how to spot extreme narcissists.
First of all, extreme narcissists have no sense of empathy. They will always be at a loss to understand you when you are upset or joyful. The most obvious sign is that they are completely incapable of love. They can fake the emotion, but if you know how to spot real love from fake love, then you can spot them pretty quickly.
Also, narcissists have a very pronounced superiority complex. Whatever relationship they get into has some unique personal benefit to offer them. Even though they might pitch in at times and help you out, the end goal is that they will gain more from the relationship than they are willing to offer. If it were up to them, they would just take and take without giving, but most people would get tired of that pretty fast.
A narcissist’s confidence is a front. Part of the charm these guys have is their confidence, but it’s not real. Beneath the surface, narcissists, are deeply insecure, but they cannot let the world know that. This should explain why, despite their seemingly big egos, narcissists are so easily offended by things most people would so easily brush aside. People with this personality trait also hate having their decisions questioned when they are in positions of power.
The people in a narcissist’s life are expendable. As long as you have no further benefit to offer them, they will be done with you and move on. They forge relationships based on what they can get out of them, not what they can offer.
An extreme narcissist is also a sucker for compliments and admiration. If you can keep this need for attention and admiration satisfied, the narcissist will be very happy to keep you around. They also don’t like it when their positions are threatened. In other words, they prefer admirers, not rivals, however friendly they might be.
Narcissists also choose their romantic partners based on what the world sees in them, or what the partner stands to offer them. For this reason, narcissists will go for beauty, wealth or famous individuals as potential partners. And when that quality finally disappears, a narcissist will most likely leave and find another partner. Obviously, for this reason, their relationships don’t tend to last too long.
Narcissists seem to have two personalities, the one you see, and the one everyone else sees. To the world, they are very charming people, but to those who know them properly, they are often dark and abusive.
Finally, if you are someone who likes to please people, or a narcissist yourself, there are very high chances you will attract a narcissist into your life. In case two narcissists come together, they will continually exploit each other for personal gain. Essentially, such marriages are like business transactions that can end in case one of the partners stops to reap the rewards they expected out of the relationship. Such relationships tend to be short-lived, unhealthy, and drama-filled.
But when a narcissist marries a people pleaser, they end up exploiting the partner mercilessly in exchange for the validation they offer. These relationships don’t tend to last long either, as the narcissist will often leave as soon as a better partner comes along.
Obviously, the last thing you want is to be a normal person in a relationship with a narcissist as the relationship will be filled with exploitation, abuse, drama, and even uncertainty. Few things can be as mentally, physically, and emotionally draining as being in a relationship with an extreme narcissist. So, be on the lookout and avoid such relationships at all costs.