Love involves a great deal of experimentation and learning from mistakes. Every relationship teaches you what works, what doesn't, and what to steer clear of in the future. It's common for people to make numerous errors when it comes to love, but the crucial thing is to take away valuable lessons from them. Regardless of how much time it takes, here are 13 insights you gain after making numerous mistakes in love:
1. You only get what you think you deserve
If you truly believe that you are only worthy of a disrespectful partner, then that's precisely the type of person you'll attract. It's similar to how some women always end up as mistresses because they've convinced themselves, knowingly or unknowingly, that they don't deserve a committed relationship of their own.
2. The more you try to hold on to something, the harder it tries to get away
You may be familiar with the saying, "If you love something, set it free; if it comes back to you, it's meant to be." The underlying idea is that individuals dislike feeling trapped. If you refuse to give your loved one space and independence, and instead cling to them tightly, they will likely try to escape and not return.
3. You should never sideline your friends for a guy (or gal)
I understand that when you're newly in love, you may feel utterly consumed by your feelings, and all you want is to be with your new partner every moment of the day. However, it's crucial to find a balance and prioritize other relationships in your life. Your friendships are stable and enduring, which may not always be the case with romantic relationships.
4. It's important to be unapologetically yourself
To clarify, don't compromise your intelligence or pretend to enjoy something solely to please your partner, and don't say you're okay when you're not. Embrace your true self and recognize that being in love with someone doesn't imply becoming a replica of them or meeting their expectations of an ideal partner. Forget that.
5. You have to be strong enough to walk away
If a relationship isn't meeting your needs, it's essential to have the ability to leave. Relationships are a mutual partnership, and if you're investing more effort than your partner, it's okay to end things. This is especially true if you're in an abusive relationship of any kind.
6. Calling BS when BS arises is a must
I believe that everyone has a certain degree of dishonesty, and that's acceptable, but it's crucial not to tolerate your partner's dishonesty. If your partner is being disingenuous, confront them about it because you don't have time for that.
7. You need to convince yourself that settling is for other people
It's common for people to settle in relationships, and currently, someone may be settling for a lackluster partner and relationship. However, once you recognize that settling isn't how you want to live your life, you're more likely to avoid it entirely like the plague it is.
8. Your gut is always right
Just like how your gut informs you when you're craving pizza or when you've had too many beans in your burrito, it also signals when something is amiss in your relationship. It's crucial to trust your gut because your intuition is your closest ally.
9. If it seems too good to be true, it is
Although I'd like to say, "If something seems too good to be true, it probably is," that isn't entirely accurate. The reason is that if something appears exceptionally amazing, it's most likely not.
10. Expecting people to change is a waste of time
I once fell in love with a good man, but he had flaws that he promised to work on. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep his promises, and I couldn't change enough to accept a partner without a job or prospects. While trying to fix a broken bird might seem romantic, most birds can't be mended.
11. It's not selfish to put yourself first
The truth is, you only have one shot at life. ONE SHOT. It's not about living selfishly, but rather prioritizing self-love because when you do, everything else falls into place.
12. It's OK to have expectations
Although it seems obvious, I believe it's worth mentioning: having expectations for your partner and relationship is not only acceptable, but it's also essential. You should never feel guilty about that.
13. It's better to be alone than deal with someone else's crap
The most crucial lesson from making many mistakes in love is that it's preferable to be alone than tolerate someone else's problems. This reinforces the idea that being self-centered, even in a relationship, is not always negative. Remember this: Settling is for others, not for you. You are exceptional, and this is a lesson that should resonate with you always.