I once believed that having a romantic partner would bring me the happiness I sought, but I now understand that this is not true. I have come to realize that my happiness must come from within, rather than from a relationship or external sources, whether I am in a relationship or not.
1. I have enough things in my life to keep me happy
I have many exciting things to anticipate in my life currently, and when I contemplate them, my face lights up with a big smile. When I concentrate on what I do have- such as the people in my life, my dog, and the achievements I've made in my career- I have much to be grateful for.
2. Happiness starts from within
The idea that happiness originates from within is a well-known concept. It is an emotion one experiences, not something that can be obtained. Having read countless books on happiness, it has become evident to me that it cannot be found in external factors such as a job, wealth, or a relationship, but rather it starts with oneself.
3. If being happy means being alone, so be it
I would be more than happy to live a solitary life with just cats for companionship if that meant I would be content for the rest of my days. I am the type of person who can be content whether I am alone or with a group of friends. I don't require the presence of others to be happy. It may be daunting to consider, but it's not a given that relationships bring happiness.
4. Happiness is a choice
Releasing my dependence on a relationship places my happiness under my own control. Even in the worst of circumstances, I have the power to choose to be happy. Recognizing this makes me understand that happiness is not something to attain, it's something I choose to create, and that feeling is incredibly empowering.
5. I want to be happy all the time, not just when I'm in a relationship
When I reflect on all the times my relationships ended, I was in a state of disarray. Being dumped or breaking up with my partner would leave me in a state of emotional turmoil for months, because my source of happiness was taken away. It was taken out from under me and left me feeling like I had no purpose. I don't want to rely on external factors to feel fulfilled, because all good things inevitably come to an end.
6. I deserve to be happy even when I'm single
It's simple for me to slip into a "pathetic" kind of mindset when I've been single for an extended period. I begin to think I am worthless and that I don't deserve anything good. The reality is, I am entitled to happiness at all times in my life, whether I am lounging at home in my sweatpants or on a date with my partner.
7. I'm afraid I want a relationship for the wrong reasons
What if my desire for a relationship is driven by the need to conform to societal expectations or to gain my mother's approval? Of course, it would bring me joy, but is it truly what I want or just what others expect of me? I want to ensure that my desire for a relationship is based on the right reasons, not just to fulfill a societal norm or to please others.
8. It's the motivation behind everything I do
When I think about it, everything I do in life is to pursue happiness. I am always in pursuit of that moment when I can sit back and say, "Yes, this is it." The only issue is that once I attain what I was chasing, the feeling of happiness is fleeting and I am on to the next thing. That's why it's futile to expect that sense of contentment to come from anywhere other than within my own heart.
9. Past relationships have made me downright miserable
When I reflect on my past relationships, they put me through a lot of emotional turmoil. A relationship does not guarantee happiness, in fact, it can lead to the opposite if you are with the wrong person.
10. Life is too short
The more I pursue, the more dissatisfaction I feel. It's a never-ending cycle. I can either spend my entire life chasing a relationship that I believe will bring me happiness or I can choose to just be happy. I choose the latter.