How-To

It's Time To Stop Caring About That Guy Who Doesn't Care About You — Here's How

Don't waste your time on individuals who play with your emotions and send mixed signals. Remember, if they don't treat you with respect and care, don't put them on a pedestal. It's important to stop investing energy in people who clearly don't value you.

Signs He Doesn't Care About You

1. He never asks you anything about yourself

If you find yourself eager to learn about his daily activities, interests and background, yet he never reciprocates by showing interest in you and your life, it's a sign that he may not truly be invested in the relationship.

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2. He flirts with other women in front of your face

Just because he's out with you at the bar, it doesn't mean he has any commitment towards you. He might still have intentions to pursue other women and even if you leave together, the atmosphere will be uncomfortable because he's been openly flirting with other people in front of you.

3. He doesn't make an effort with your family and friends

If you've been dating for a while and have been introduced to each other's social circles, it's a sign that the relationship is becoming more serious. If he is not making an effort to make a good impression on your friends and family, it is likely that he doesn't take the relationship seriously and doesn't value you as much as you hoped.

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4. He makes decisions without consulting you

He's already made plans for the both of you, including where you'll be having dinner and what you'll wear, without consulting you. He's even expecting you to make dinner for him and his friend on the next night. While you may be willing to make compromises, the fact that he doesn't include you in the decision-making process suggests that he doesn't value your input or opinion.

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5. He makes promises that he has no intention of keeping

How often does he promise to be there for you during important events, only to back out or not show up, sometimes without even letting you know? How frequently does he make plans that don't come to fruition? It's clear that you can't rely on him to keep his promises.

6. He leaves you on read for hours or even days

You reached out to him with a question or just to say hi, but he didn't respond to your text. You know he has his phone with him all the time, he has seen your message but he's choosing not to respond. This is not a good sign.

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7. He blatantly lies to you

A person who can lie to your face with a straight face clearly does not care about your well-being. That's all that needs to be said.

8. He doesn't make you a priority

Although you understand he has a busy schedule, you would appreciate it if you were a priority in his life. Currently, it feels like you're only an afterthought for him when he has nothing else to do.

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9. He always leaves you hanging

When you're intimate, he always finishes and then immediately rolls over to fall asleep or gets up to take a shower or leave, leaving you feeling unsatisfied. This behavior is a lack of consideration and not what you expect from a partner.

10. He never remembers anything you say

He doesn't listen to you because he doesn't value your feelings. It's time for you to move on and stop investing in this relationship.

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Why You Need To Walk Away

1. If he sucks this much now, imagine what he'll be like later

Men often put in a lot of effort when first getting to know someone in order to make a good impression. If he's already treating you poorly and putting in minimal effort, it's likely to get worse. Don't ignore the warning signs of his behavior, as it is indicative of future issues.

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2. He doesn't appreciate you

If he believes he can treat you poorly and you will remain in the relationship because you care for him, he is mistaken. A smart and respectful person would recognize how valuable and rare a person like you is and would treat you accordingly. His failure to see your worth is an indication that he is not ready for a healthy and respectful relationship with you, and does not deserve to be in one with you.

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3. You don't have to put up with his crap

You are under no obligation to stay in this relationship. You have the power to leave at any time. Don't accept his excuses for his unacceptable behavior. There is no justification for ignoring you, yelling at you or treating you poorly. If he truly cares for you, he would treat you with respect. It's simple.

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4. You have to choose happiness

You have more control over your emotions than you may realize. Don't allow yourself to be repeatedly hurt by the same person just because it's familiar. Take action to find someone who truly cares for you by leaving the current relationship behind. You are responsible for your own happiness and sometimes that means taking action to protect it.

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5. Your effort won't get you anywhere

Sending explicit photos or initiating contact will not guarantee improved treatment from him. Furthermore, you should seek a partner who is already emotionally mature and stable, rather than someone who requires significant development.

6. No one deserves to be treated like this

If your close friend repeatedly returned to a poor partner, would you remain silent? Absolutely not, because you understand that they deserve more. Treat yourself as you would your friend and put an end to your own pain. Recognize that you too deserve better, and take steps to attain it.

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7. You'll gain more than you'll lose when you leave him

Ending the relationship with him will mean no more waiting for his messages or feeling upset over pictures he posts with other people. When he is out of your life, your stress will also disappear. It may be difficult to envision a happy future without him, but if you are not content with him, what is there to lose by leaving him?

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8. His best clearly isn't good enough

Even if he began responding to your messages and paying attention when you talk, that is not enough. You deserve someone who goes above and beyond to make you happy. Raise your expectations. Furthermore, being honest with yourself, you know this relationship is not fulfilling for either of you.

9. You're wasting precious time with him

Every moment spent hoping he will remember your special day is a moment wasted on someone who does not truly care about you. Prioritize your own needs and place him at the bottom of your list, or even better, remove him from your list altogether and move forward.

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How To Stop Caring About Him

To detach yourself from a person who is not good for you, you need to understand the reasons why and then take steps to make it happen. Keep in mind that changing your feelings for someone is not as simple as flipping a switch. Here are some things you can try:

1. Cut off all contact with him

If the person you are trying to detach from does not value or care about you, it is best to cut ties with them completely. This includes blocking and deleting them on all forms of communication, and avoiding any contact with them in the future. This step is essential for protecting yourself and also for moving on and healing.

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2. Give yourself some grieving time

Ending a relationship, whether it was short or long-term, can be difficult and painful if you cared about the person and they did not feel the same way. It is important to allow yourself to grieve and process your feelings, rather than trying to ignore or suppress them. Relationship expert Ammanda Major states that "the end of a relationship requires a grieving period where we process what has happened." This time can be used to reflect on the relationship and your own behavior, and is an essential part of healing.

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3. Take off the rose-colored glasses

It can be easy to romanticize a past relationship, even when realizing that the person does not care about you. To truly move on, it is important to see the person for who they truly are. Marriage and relationship therapist Dr. Juliana Morris says that "The hardest part of getting over a relationship is often not the loss of the actual person, but the loss of the fantasy of what you thought could happen." Instead of getting caught up in questions of "why" or "what if", it is important to focus on reality and letting go of any illusions.

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4. Work on restoring your equilibrium

Being in a toxic relationship with someone who doesn't care about you can be emotionally draining. "If you don't feel like the best version of yourself in a relationship, it's not a healthy one," says dating coach and author Samantha Burns. After ending the relationship, it's important to work on restoring your self-worth through activities such as writing/art, meditation, or therapy. Only you know what you need to move on.

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5. See this as an opportunity rather than a failure

When you have to force yourself to stop caring about someone, it can be difficult to not feel angry and sad that you invested your time and energy into the relationship. It's important to shift your perspective and see the situation as an opportunity for growth and reinvention, instead of seeing it as a failure. Relationship expert Morris states that "A breakup is an incredible opportunity for reinvention." Take this time to focus on becoming the person you want to be and reshaping your life.

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