It Seems Like Everyone But Me Has Someone And It Sucks

For years, I have been single and wondering why that is the case. Despite being a spectacular woman, I have been unable to find a partner. While logic suggests that perhaps my time has not yet come, my mind often entertains other thoughts.

1. It feels like there Is something wrong with me

This tape is as old as they come, playing on a loop and haunting me with messages of my inherent unworthiness. While I recognize that these tapes are false, I sometimes can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with me. My mind convinces me that if I were a decent person, I wouldn't struggle to find a partner. However, this simply isn't accurate - my value is not dependent on whether or not I have a partner. If only my head and heart could align on this truth.

2. I've been dating for what feels like forever

Dating can be a thrilling and enjoyable experience, but it can also be tiring and discouraging. Despite actively putting myself out there for a considerable amount of time, I have had very few dates turn into anything substantial, and I remain single. It's challenging not to take this as a personal reflection of my worth. Unfortunately, these "failed" dating attempts only add to the already overwhelming negative thoughts my mind generates about my inadequacies.

3. I've been single for most of the last few years

It's safe to assume that if I've been unsuccessful in dating for years, I've also spent most of that time being single. Although I don't despise being single, it can feel isolating at times. My thoughts often drift towards questioning why I have been single for so long.

4. I've had lots of almost relationships

I should clarify that I haven't been entirely alone on this journey. Instead, I have had numerous "almost" relationships - we went on a few dates, and I allowed myself to get my hopes up, only to have things fall apart for various reasons. These experiences felt like a tease because I would get excited, only to end up feeling disappointed and disillusioned afterward. Unfortunately, these letdowns only add to the negative self-talk in my mind, which reinforces feelings of being unlovable.

5. I've experienced quite a bit of rejection

This year, I made a concerted effort to actively participate in the dating world by putting myself out there. In the past, I was hesitant to do so due to fear and societal expectations that suggested girls should not initiate asking guys out. However, I eventually realized that these notions were unfounded, and I began to take the initiative. While not all of my attempts were fruitful, some ending in rejection, I understand that being turned down is simply a part of life. Nevertheless, there are times when I can't help but feel like rejection is a reflection of some flaw in me.

6. It seems everyone has someone

I recognize that this may be an exaggeration, but sometimes it feels like almost everyone has a partner. Despite knowing that it's not healthy to compare myself to others, I can't help but fall into that trap at times. Seeing photos of couples on social media or in public, holding hands and looking content, makes me wonder why I am still single.

7. There are tons of people I'm incompatible with

I suppose I need to remind myself that I am not compatible with the majority of people in the world. The truth is that I will likely be incompatible with most of the individuals I encounter. As the saying goes, "it's a numbers game," and there are only a limited number of individuals with whom I will share compatibility. I have not yet found these people.

8. I'm not saying I need a relationship but it'd be nice

You might assume that I am overly fixated on being in a relationship, but that's not the case. I'm not co-dependent and I understand that I am a complete and valuable person in my own right. However, I do desire the company of a companion, and I believe this is a natural human instinct to seek connection and companionship.

9. I'm working on getting my head and heart on the same page

I am actively working on challenging those negative thoughts that creep up, telling me that I'm not good enough or that there is something inherently wrong with me. Instead, I am turning those thoughts around by reminding myself that I am a valuable individual, deserving of love and respect. Phrases like "I am a child of the universe, worthy of love" and "I possess inherent goodness that is not tied to any circumstance in my life" are helpful in combatting those negative voices. At the end of the day, those voices can be silenced, and I am determined to reject those false narratives.

10. To be honest, the main reason I'm alone because I won't settle for less

I have to give myself credit for being selective in my choices. It's not that I'm a sad and lonely soul with no potential or attention from others. In fact, I have plenty of opportunities to be with someone, but I choose to walk away when I know deep down that they aren't a good match for me. Despite the negative self-talk in my head that tells me I'm unlovable and unworthy, my heart won't let me settle for less than I deserve. Yes, this means I'm alone more often than not, but I'm okay with that because I know that settling for less than what I deserve is not an option.