Many guys wonder: is my girlfriend clingy? And it's understandable - you don't want to feel you don't have all the freedom you desire just to be in a relationship.
And let's be honest, nobody wants to be the overly attached partner in the relationship. So, believe it when I tell you that she wouldn't want to be the clingy girlfriend either.
In fact, there might be a chance that your girlfriend is not actually clingy. It could be a simple matter of misunderstanding her emotions and intentions.
But there are times when your girlfriend is genuinely clingy, whether she knows it or not. And you should not ignore that fact if you want your relationship to endure. Being in a relationship where you feel somewhat suffocated is never a good idea.
Using words like "annoying" and "irritating" to describe your partner is not right. It would be better if you addressed this issue (with or without her help) to make sure you have a partner whose company you enjoy and even cherish.
1. Reassure Them You'll Stick Around
Often, people get clingy because they get a feeling you might leave because you are growing less fond of them. You might not be calling as often, or visiting as regularly as you previously did.
This can make the girl clingy, and it wouldn't be entirely her fault. So, make sure you reassure her that her place in your heart is still hers and hers alone.
If it's true you have slacked off when it comes to making calls or texting or visiting, then you can make a little more effort to reassure her she is still a priority in your life.
Also, if you have been a little busier than usual, tell her about it, preferably in advance so she doesn't worry why you are so silent.
2. Your Misconceptions Might Be Why You Think Your Girlfriend Clingy
Some guys have no idea how women show love and compassion.
Remember when you thought your mother was all up in your business when you were a kid? But now you appreciate and realize that it was probably the best kind of love you ever had in your life?
When a woman loves you, she will not ignore you. She will seem a little "too much" in some ways.
A girl who loves you will want to know about your day, your life, your friends, and everything that's going on in your life. And if you don't think knowing such things matter, you might think she is clingy when she is not.
I'm not saying that there might be times when she might be unjustifiably clingy. But on some occasions, she is just showing you she loves and cares in her own way. You just have to figure out her love language.
3. Having Unaddressed Relationship Issues Can Make Your Girlfriend Clingy
Are you on the same page with your girlfriend in your relationship? That might be the reason your girlfriend is clingy.
Maybe she has finally fallen head over heels for you, and she expressed it in some way or another. For instance, if you have never been intimate, you finally made love. Maybe she has also said the three magic words.
She did it because she has finally fallen for you. But for some reason, she is not sure if you feel the same way.
This can make her clingy if she expects you to express a similar emotion. If that's the case, then let her know you are on the same page in the relationship, if that's what you feel. But if not, then gently explain how you feel about her and the relationship.
4. Set Up Some Guidelines
I know. Having rules about how often to contact each other might seem a little extreme. It might even feel like you are forcing things.
But the truth is that most successful relationships have rules, and yours should as well.
If the girl expects you to call every couple of hours, explain to her it would be more convenient to call at certain times. This way, she will not drive herself crazy when you don't check in every hour.
Also, make sure she knows everything you are doing so she will understand why your communication might be less frequent at certain times.
Assure her you will at least call her before you go to bed or after waking up, so she knows when to expect your calls or messages.
Having rules on when to call can make her more comfortable and assured of your commitment to her.
5. Deal With The Insecurities That Make Your Girlfriend Clingy
The reason you have a clingy girlfriend might have nothing to do with the fact that you are a terrible boyfriend. You call regularly, you reassure her, and you spend plenty of time with her; but for some reason, she is too clingy.
So, you might not be the problem, but her insecurities might. It's possible she has been in relationships where she has been lied to, and that made her less trusting of guys until she knew everything they were up to.
The trick here is not to make her feel bad for her insecurities, but to make her address them.
Do something that proves to her you can be trusted, and that all men are not dogs as she might subconsciously believe.
Most guys respond to clingy behavior through withdrawal, anger, and frustration. That only grows her worries. So, when she seems particularly clingy, do the complete opposite and draw closer to her without getting angry and frustrated.
If she discovers that she can express her deepest insecurities to you without pissing you off, she will trust you more than she would trust anyone, and the clinginess will be a thing of the past.
6. Make Her Feel Special
If you make your girl feel like a princess, all she will want is to be happy enjoying her life. She will not obsess over whether you are giving her enough attention.
So, once in a while, take her out on a special date so you can enjoy each other's company. At these times, put your phone away and focus entirely on her.
If she changes her hairstyle, be the first to notice. Compliment her and show her physical intimacy in all possible ways.
As long as she sees and feels that she is all you think about, she will not wonder if you might be drifting away and desperately try to gain your attention in a clingy sort of way.
In the end, all a woman needs is to feel safe with you, and that includes being attuned to her needs.
7. Talk It Out
Even after going over it in your head, again and again, you might not have a clue why your girlfriend is clingy. That does not mean you can ignore the problem and have a normal life.
What you should do instead is try to open communication lines between you two until you get an idea as to what might be the problem.
Resist the temptation to blame her by calling her nagging or crazy.
You can get the ball rolling by sharing your feelings about the relationship, and odds that when she does as well, you will have a clue as to what might cause you to think she is clingy.
The important thing is to have a nonjudgmental tone. Also, be a good listener so she can trust you enough to open up about her innermost feelings and the motivation behind her strange behavior.
8. Not Having A Life Can Make Your Girlfriend Clingy
If your girlfriend has nothing to do throughout her day, you might be all she has to focus on. That will obviously make her clingy.
So, try to encourage her to have a life. If she has a hobby, encourage her to pursue it.
If she is completely engrossed in something she loves, she will have an easier time spending a couple of hours without expecting you to get in touch.
9. Explain To Her You Need Some Alone Time
The truth is that you might be doing nothing wrong in particular to make your girlfriend clingy.
Maybe you are not getting enough time for yourself, and when you insist on it, she thinks you are up to something she should be suspicious about.
If you explain to her you usually take some personal time and are not spending that time on anyone else, then she might understand if you don't give her attention round the clock.
10. Issues In Her Life Make Your Girlfriend Clingy
What has your girlfriend been going through lately? It could have everything to do with the clingy behavior you now see in her.
Has she broken up with her bestie? If she has no one else to talk to on the phone for hours, that attention will come your way.
The end of her relationship might make her doubt her self-worth, and she might be counting on you to reassure her she is not the problem.
That is why she will want more attention from you because she needs to prove to herself that she still matters to someone.
In such situations, be sure to indulge her until her concerns pass. In any case, sharing more of your life with her should always be a good thing.
Just To Recap...
Clinginess is unhealthy, not only for your girlfriend but also for you. If your behavior has made your girlfriend clingy, then you should definitely do something to resolve the problem.
Remember that when she is being clingy, your life, your relationship, and the relationships you have with others will suffer. You might get frustrated, and have to put off work or other social engagements to deal with your girlfriend.
And by constantly being on your case, the girl would also have to give up the same things.
So, by all means, if you care about the relationship, make sure you address the things that make your girlfriend clingy and you will be much happier as a couple and as individuals.