How-To

Is He Only Texting You When He's Bored Or Lonely? Here's How To Tell

Texting is a valuable tool for getting to know someone before meeting in person, but it can also reveal if a guy's interest is genuine after the start of a relationship. If he consistently initiates conversations and shows interest in you, it's a positive sign. However, if he only reaches out when he is bored or lonely, it may indicate a lack of genuine interest. Keep an eye out for signs such as these.

1. He's a vampire texter

The individual sends you texts primarily at night, around bedtime, but does not text during daylight hours. This could indicate that they have insomnia and are seeking entertainment or that they have romantic intentions.

2. He's the king of charm

Evaluate not only the quality of a guy's texts, but also how he initiates conversations with you. Pay attention to whether his opening lines are always flirtatious or complimentary, as this may indicate that he is only seeking virtual attention for excitement.

3. He never wants to turn texting into actual plans

Even if a guy's texts are great and he frequently engages in conversation, pay attention to whether he suggests meeting in person. If after prolonged texting, he never expresses interest in meeting up in person, it may indicate that he is using virtual communication as a convenient way to alleviate boredom or loneliness, rather than genuinely seeking a real-life relationship. This behavior could be considered creepy.

4. He initiates conversation but goes AWOL in the middle of them

Frequent conversations with a guy may be a positive sign of interest, but if he frequently disappears during the chats, it can indicate that he is only using you to fill a temporary gap in his day, rather than genuinely engaging with you. This could suggest that he is not fully invested in the conversation, and is easily distracted by other things.

5. He disappears for days or weeks

If a guy sends you a lot of texts for days or weeks, then suddenly disappears and doesn't respond to yours, it could be a sign that you've been "benched" until he needs more attention. This inconsistency in communication could indicate that he is only reaching out when he is looking for a distraction from his lonely or unfulfilling life, and then disappears when other things become more interesting or when his life improves.

6. He texts but without saying much

Receiving basic, unengaging texts that span multiple hours can be frustrating. If a guy is truly interested in you, he will show it by asking you thoughtful questions and having meaningful conversations via text. On the other hand, if he is not that invested, he will likely be lazy in his texting, making minimal effort and only reaching out for a quick chat before disappearing again.

7. His texts are drunk

If a guy has good spelling and grammar skills, but his texts often contain errors or don't make sense, it could be a sign that he is a "drunk texter". This could indicate that he is sending texts while under the influence of alcohol, possibly after a disappointing night out, and is seeking attention from you in a drunken state.

8. He doesn't have many friends

It can be understandable if someone is feeling lonely or bored if they are new to town, shy, or find it difficult to make social connections. However, if someone is using you as a substitute for not making an effort to form friendships and other relationships, it may not be a healthy situation for you. It's important to remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where both parties are making an effort to connect and build a meaningful connection.

9. He expects an immediate response

If he texts you and expects an immediate response, even if the text is just a simple "what's up?" and gets upset or impatient if you don't respond quickly, it's a sign that he is bored and looking for instant gratification. This behavior can be demanding and disrespectful, it's important to remember that you are not obligated to drop everything and respond to him immediately. You have a life and things going on, and he should be understanding of that and have patience.

10. He's an egomaniac

It's possible that the guy is texting you not only because he's bored or lonely, but because it provides him with an ego boost. If you respond quickly to his texts, he may assume that you like him, even if he's not emotionally invested in the conversation. This can be an obnoxious and immature game for some guys to play, but it's more common than one might think.

11. He texts you compliments but they don't feel very genuine

Receiving compliments from a guy may seem positive, but if they are generic in nature and do not seem specific to you, it could be a sign that he is using them as a tool to keep the conversation going with you. If he has nothing going on in his life and keeping you engaged is a temporary priority, he may resort to using generic compliments as an easy way to do so.

12. He barely makes an effort at conversation

It can be frustrating when a guy texts you frequently, but the conversations lack substance and you can't remember what you talked about. It may seem like he is using you as a sounding board to vent or offload, but not truly caring about or engaging in the conversation. This type of behavior can be annoying and unfulfilling.

13. The questions he asks are basic and boring

If a guy's texts consist of questions that are uninteresting and unengaging, like "What's up?", "How was your day?" or "I'm tired today, are you?" it can indicate that he is going through the motions and not truly interested in having a meaningful conversation. This type of communication can be unfulfilling and may make you wish he would not bother texting at all.

How To Deal With A Guy Who Only Texts When He's Bored Or Lonely

1. Ask him to hang out

If you are interested in building a real relationship with a guy, it's important to move communication off the phone and into the real world. If you sense that he is bored or lonely, suggest meeting up in person. This could be as simple as going to catch a movie, grab some food or a coffee, or even just sitting in the park. In-person interactions will not only help alleviate those feelings in him, but also give you the opportunity to build a deeper connection and get to know each other better.

2. Try to steer the conversation in a more productive direction

If you feel that the guy is making little effort to engage in a meaningful conversation, try to steer the conversation in a more productive direction by asking thoughtful and open-ended questions that invite longer responses. This will give you the opportunity to get to know each other better and may make him realize that he should put more effort into the conversation.

3. Tell him you're busy and can't talk at the moment

It's understandable that you want to be supportive and don't want anyone to feel upset, but you also shouldn't feel obligated to engage in a conversation with someone who is not truly invested in you. If he continues to text you frequently and you're not interested or have other things to do, it's okay to let him know that you're busy and cannot talk at the moment. Hopefully, he will understand and move on to someone else.

4. Ignore him

If a guy is unable to take a hint and continues to message you even when you've told him you're busy, it can be frustrating. He may say something like "That's cool, you can read these later and respond" and continue talking or repeatedly ask when you'll be done. In this case, it may be best to simply ignore his messages and not engage in the conversation. You can respond to him when you have time, if you choose to do so.

5. Delete his number and block him

Ultimately, if a guy is not interested in meeting in person or having meaningful conversations that demonstrate an interest in you and your life, it may be best to end the relationship. It is important to not waste time on someone who is not genuinely interested in getting to know you. If this is the case, it may be best to delete his number and block him. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and move on.