It can be difficult for a modern woman to determine if a man is truly busy or just not interested in her when it comes to dating. Many men will not openly communicate their thoughts, leading to confusion. "Busy" can often be interpreted as disinterest, but this isn't always the case. Here are some ways to determine if a man you are seeing has a genuinely packed schedule, rather than just trying to avoid you:
1. He actually explains what's going on in his life
Simply saying he's "super busy" isn't sufficient for a man to excuse himself from spending time with you. If he truly values you and wants you in his life, he will provide more information about his work, schedule, and activities. This shows that he is trying to include you in his life, even if he can't meet up at the moment.
2. He makes time to see you no matter how busy he is
It's normal for people to have busy schedules and it can take time for couples to find a mutually convenient time to meet up. This can be especially true for those who have been single for a while or prioritize work. However, if a man genuinely likes you, he will make an effort to find time to see you. After all, he makes time for basic necessities such as sleep and food.
3. He doesn't drop off the earth when he's super busy
If a man has to cancel a date, a genuinely busy guy will be transparent about the reason and stay in communication with you through methods like calling and texting. He will keep you updated on his day rather than going silent.
4. He might take longer to reply, but he always does
A man who is not interested in you will take a long time to respond to your messages, possibly even days. On the other hand, a man who is genuinely busy may take a little bit of time to respond, but not an excessive amount. He will always reply to your messages and give more than just one-word answers. If a man takes days to respond to your messages with brief responses like "hey" or "k, cool," it is a sign that he is not interested and it is best to move on.
5. He doesn't ignore your messages
Thanks to modern technology, you can now see if a man has opened and read your messages. If he has been extremely busy at work, he may not have had a chance to check his messages yet. This is understandable and you can expect a response when he is able. However, if a man reads your messages but does not reply, using his busy schedule as an excuse to distance himself from you, it is a red flag and potentially deceitful behavior.
6. He doesn't lie if his weekends open up
It is important for everyone to have some time to relax, but a man who is interested in you will still make an effort to see you on weekends. If he is never available during his days off, it is a sign that he is not interested. It is normal for people to have at least some free time, even if they have a busy schedule.
7. He sets another date if things don't work out
If a man is not interested in you, he will frequently cancel plans and not make an effort to reschedule. On the other hand, a man who is interested in you and is simply busy may have to cancel plans occasionally but will make an effort to set a new date as soon as possible to show you that he is eager to see you. He will not leave you hanging with ambiguous statements like "let's see how the week goes."
8. His social media presence doesn't clash with his "busy" excuse
If you can see that a man is active on social media but is ignoring your texts, it is a sign that he is not worth your time. It is appropriate to block him and delete his contact number in this situation.
9. He doesn't let his "busy" life get in the way of your relationship
One way to determine if a man is genuinely busy or lying to you is to observe how often he cancels dates. If it occurs occasionally, it is understandable. However, if it is a constant occurrence, it may be a sign that he is not reliable or responsible.
10. Your gut tells you he's into it
Pay attention to your feelings when a man tells you he is too busy to hang out. If you feel anxious or uncertain about asking him out because you worry he will ignore you, it is a sign that the relationship is not healthy. A good partner should make you feel good about yourself and the relationship, regardless of their personal circumstances. If a man does not make you feel valued and supported, it may be best to reevaluate the relationship.
11. If you can make the time, so can he
If you are able to fit a man into your busy schedule, he should be able to do the same for you, even if it is just for a brief coffee before work. If he is not willing or able to do so, it may indicate that he is not worth your time and attention. You have a fulfilling life and should not feel like you have to make room for someone who is not willing to prioritize you. If a man is not willing to make time for you, it may be best to move on and focus on other things that are more important to you.
When Is Claiming He's "So Busy" Just An Excuse?
Although it is common for people to have busy schedules, some men may use this as an excuse to avoid being honest about their lack of interest. It is important to be aware of this and pay attention to other signs that may indicate disinterest.
1. He's still around online, he's just not texting you
If a man claims to be too busy but has time to post multiple selfies, repost memes, or engage in political discussions on social media, it may be a sign that he is not actually as busy as he claims. If he has time to spend on the internet, he likely also has time to communicate with you. If this is the case, it may indicate that he is not genuinely interested in you.
2. He doesn't have time for a date but he does for a party
If a man cancels a dinner date for the weekend due to a work project but later mentions that he went to a party and got drunk with his friends on the same weekend, it is a clear sign that his excuse for canceling was not genuine. This behavior should raise red flags and cause you to question the man's honesty and priorities.
3. When he cancels on you, he doesn't bother to reschedule
While unexpected circumstances can sometimes arise, if a man is genuinely interested in you, he will make an effort to reschedule plans that have been canceled. If he is content with leaving plans in limbo and does not try to set a new date, it is a sign that he is not invested in the relationship and does not care if you spend time together or not.
4. He gets in touch when he knows you're not available
If a man only contacts you when he knows you are busy with work or other commitments, it is likely because he wants to limit the conversation and not have a prolonged exchange. This is not a sign that he is genuinely busy, but rather that he is not interested in investing time and effort into the relationship.
5. He doesn't apologize for flaking on you
If a man is genuinely busy but still interested in you, he will feel remorseful when he has to cancel plans. He will not want you to think that he is not interested in seeing you and will be sincere in his apologies, recognizing that your time is valuable and you may have had other options. If a man does not seem concerned about canceling plans or expects you to accept it without question, it is worth considering if he is actually busy or simply not interested in you.
What To Do When You Think He's Full Of It
If you believe that a man who claims to be genuinely busy may be dishonest about his schedule, there are a few potential courses of action you can take:
1. Call him out on it
If you feel that it will be productive, you can confront the man about his behavior and express that his words and actions do not align. Tell him that if he is not interested in you, he should be straightforward about it. However, be prepared for the possibility that he may react with annoyance or hostility. If you are willing to handle this potential outcome, it may be worth trying this approach.
2. Take a step back and be "so busy" yourself
If a man claims to be very busy but is actually interested in you, he may become upset if you suddenly become unavailable to text, call, or hang out. Since it is likely that you also have a lot going on in your own life, this should not be difficult to do. By showing that you are a valuable and in-demand person, you may be able to send the message that you are not willing to wait around for him. This approach may be effective in getting his attention and making him prioritize you.
3. Make that "raincheck" permanent
If a man frequently cancels plans because he has a lot going on, it is unlikely that a relationship between you will be successful. Even if he is genuinely busy, it is evident that he does not have the time or energy to invest in getting to know you and being a supportive partner. It may be wise to end things now rather than risk future disappointment.
It can be difficult to determine whether a man is genuinely busy or simply not interested in you. However, by paying attention to the signs and behaviors discussed in this article, you can gain a better understanding of the situation. With this knowledge, you can hopefully avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety.
