A while ago, a male friend of mine asked me out on a date, but I didn't have any romantic interest in him. Nevertheless, I accepted his invitation because I thought it was the appropriate thing to do. Despite my lack of feelings for him, we continue to have an undefined relationship, and even though I recognize that I should end it, I haven't because being with him is preferable to being alone.
1. I'll miss him if he's gone
If I were to give him a harsh rejection, the inside jokes, effortless companionship, and security of having someone to rely on would vanish instantly. The absence of a once-close friend is a challenging void to fill. I'm eager to maintain his presence in my life because I understand that if I terminate our romantic involvement, our friendship will inevitably dissolve as well.
2. I've invested time and energy into this relationship
Although I don't have romantic feelings for him, I have invested a considerable amount of time and energy in our relationship, from spending time together to texting and sharing inside jokes. Ending our connection abruptly would invalidate all of that effort.
3. It's difficult to rebuild. Finding good friends is difficult
While I recognize that it might be beneficial for him to move on, starting fresh friendships every time a romantic connection fails is draining and isolating. Keeping him in my life means I don't have to go through the emotionally taxing process of seeking someone new to trust and befriend. The mere thought of it exhausts me.
4. I can't feel his pain
Romantic relationships are challenging for all parties, but being the one who gives unrequited love is undoubtedly more difficult than being on the receiving end. While I empathize with his situation, my insecurities and attachment to our friendship often take precedence. It's much simpler for me to hold onto our friendship when I'm not experiencing the pain of rejection.
5. It feels good to be desired
Let's face it - having someone express interest in you is a boost to the ego. It builds confidence and feels great to be desired. I'm not proud to admit it, but sometimes that's one reason why I find it challenging to let go of a romantic prospect. Who else will make me feel as attractive and wanted?
6. I don't want to give him up
Although I don't have romantic feelings for him, he is still an important person in my life. I appreciate him as a person, even if I don't see him as a viable romantic partner, and that makes me reluctant to let go of our bond. Our relationship is too valuable to abandon.
7. I know he'll be there for me
By keeping him around despite my lack of romantic interest, I have a friend and a potential partner who cares for me. Although I'm not interested in him romantically, his unwavering support is a valuable asset.
8. It will hurt to see him move on
Being left behind is never a pleasant experience. When he finds someone else, I'll likely feel uninteresting, unattractive, and unwanted. Holding onto him delays this feeling for as long as possible because as soon as he loses interest, the confidence boost that came with his attention will disappear.
9. I like having options
As long as he remains in my life, I always have choices. It means that regardless of my relationship status, I have him as a safety net if my love life doesn't work out. The prospect of rejecting him entirely and letting him go is frightening because without him as a safety net, navigating the dating world feels much riskier.
10. I don't want to be alone
The truth is that nobody wants to be alone. I appreciate having this guy around as a confidant when I need to talk, a friend when I want to laugh, and a potential lover if I choose to pursue a romantic relationship. I've grown accustomed to constant human interaction, and the idea of being without it is daunting. I recognize that it may not be the best situation for him, but I don't want to be alone.