I'm as tired as I could ever be. My body and soul are fed up and worn out.
Why do I have to be strong all the damn time?
Why should I walk around putting on a brave face so that no one can tell I am going through hell?
Today, I Am Done Pretending
It's time I came clean with what I truly feel. I have always felt limited; that I cannot get everything I want.
I can confess my admiration for strong and independent people who seem to have their lives together.
But without knowing it, I became one of them. I put a terrible burden on myself.
And now I'm done.
I Can't Take It Anymore
I have been strong for everyone long enough, and myself too. I took every blow that came my way without showing any sign of weakness.
I watched as all I loved was torn away from me, and I pretended it did not bother me.
On more than one occasion, I have had to start from zero. I had the strength to pull it off.
I was too strong to cry. Too strong to break down even under the greatest amount of pressure.
The world expected me to remain strong no matter what. And I took up the challenge.
All My Vulnerabilities I Kept To Myself
And guess what? People became convinced that I was invincible. They assumed I needed no one's help.
After all, what could you do for an independent and self-sufficient strong woman like myself?
Although the world does not see my pain, I feel it more strongly than I can describe.
It takes so much effort to show the world you are not struggling when you are exhausted and worn out deep within.
I Have Been So Strong For Others, And What Has That Gotten Me?
Number one, zero support. And I can't blame it entirely on them, because I did a pretty good job of convincing them I never needed any help.
I showed them I was strong enough on my own to overcome whatever life throws at me.
But I am flipping the script.
I want to be like everyone else. I want people to come to my aid and ask me how I am doing when feeling down.
I Want Someone Who Can Genuinely Listen To Me And Comfort Me When Worried
The pretense has to stop.
I am ready to expose my vulnerabilities. And although it might disappoint those who have come to count on my strength, I know it will be for the best.
I cannot be the only person I can count on. I have tried it and it's not working out. I don't want to be always the strong one anymore. I hope you understand. I sincerely do.