Dating as we knew it, barely exists. It's the era of hooking up and talking over social networks, but I can't be the only one bothered by a lack of romance and substance.
In the good old days, which was less than ten years ago, asking someone out, meant going on a first date. The first date usually leads to the second, and before you knew it, you were in a relationship. Not all relationships were meaningful, but we had a chance to get the idea of what the person was like up-close and personal.
In our search for happiness, social media took over, and we started chatting with strangers. Sometimes it can turn into a beautiful friendship, other times into a relationship. But, usually, it's a waste of time and expectations.
There's nothing wrong with chatting or hooking up, but what if you don't need it? Where do you belong? You don't think highly of hookups, and you barely have time for friends, so where does it leave you?
Of course, friendship is a part of a relationship, but even guys at bars want to chat and nothing more. Or worse, they don't even bother to remember your name, but they want to take you home. I may be old-fashioned, but you can't rush intimacy, trust, or honesty.
Dating starts with physical attraction and develops into more, naturally, and spontaneously. You don't start talking about your dark desires or jump into sex thing because it doesn't feel right. And what blows my mind is that, IMO, sex is better when it is with someone you know. You can relax, ask, communicate without words, and enjoy it.
I am not saying that every relationship which started with all talk and nothing else can't develop. Or that a one-night stand can't turn into something more serious. But here's the thing: we are already living fast, did we have to bring romance into all that chaos?
Do you feel as if we're looking for quick fixes for our problems by skipping several steps and jumping from one person to another? These fast-paced relationships aren't deep, conversations aren't meaningful, and it's usually one of you complaining while the other is trying to listen. Then, you switch turns, but again, it's like a game of ping pong, not a genuine human connection.
Dating in 2020 is a code for "seeing someone," which isn't the same. The first implied exclusivity, while the other is more like:" I'm hanging out with you while exploring options and until someone better comes along." Yikes!
Dating was excellent, like opening a present on a Christmas morning. It had layers, surprises, and even if you didn't end up getting what you wanted, you appreciated the gesture. Does it make sense to you? I don't want to settle, no one should. But we can work together on making dating cool again. This chit-chatting and hooking up is only making us more anxious, and frankly, it's been testing my patience.
Dazzle me, bring me flowers, take me to the diner, talk about something less superficial, dress up. Lean in for a kiss, and allow me to fall in love! What happened to fall head over heels? We need an intervention, people!