I know that Tinder is commonly used for casual hookups, and that's okay. I don't always expect a serious relationship from every person I date either. While I'm open to a more casual arrangement, I find it repulsive when a guy starts sexting before we even meet in person.
1. I already don't like you
Honestly, getting straight to the point has saved me time and energy. I'm not a fan of players, and I believe only players would sext someone they don't even know. Do you have any standards, or are you just offering your penis to every girl in case one of us is feeling excessively horny at the moment?
2. It ruins the mystery
Even if I'm already interested in sleeping with a guy before we meet, I don't want to discuss it in detail beforehand. I don't need to know every detail of what he plans to do or his favorite position. While some people believe it builds anticipation, I prefer to discover those things in the moment.
3. It suggests a serious lack of judgment
Guys who ask every girl if they want to hook up must have some social dysfunction, or they're just too overconfident. A smart guy knows that he'll have a better chance if he gets to know a girl first and makes it through the first coffee date without talking about his penis.
4. I don't want to sleep with someone I can't have a conversation with
I prefer to feel comfortable with the guys I sleep with, which means I need to be able to have a conversation with them. It doesn't have to be about serious topics like marriage and kids, but at least we should be able to talk non-sexually. If a guy can't hold a conversation, then it's not worth my time.
5. I don't even like sexting
Even when I'm in a relationship, sexting isn't one of my favorite activities. Most of the time, I find it dull and end up responding halfheartedly while watching Netflix. If I'm not interested in sexting with a guy I've had real sex with, why would I want to sext with someone I've never met?
6. Hooking up isn't my main objective
If all I wanted were hookups, maybe I'd be more open to guys who talk about sex right away. At least then we both know what we're getting into. But I'm looking for something more meaningful, so sexting is a big red flag that tells me the guy isn't worth my time or energy.
7. I don't Snapchat
If a 30-year-old guy asks me to add him on Snapchat, I assume he just wants to send me bathroom selfies of his torso or pictures of himself looking lonely in bed to manipulate me into coming over. That's one of the many reasons why I don't use Snapchat.
8. I have to protect myself from penis pictures
If a guy is asking me about what I'm wearing and if I enjoy giving blow jobs before inquiring about my background or profession, he's probably a potential penis pic sender. I don't want to see a stranger's penis on my phone, so my only option is to preemptively block him because he's likely to send a penis pic any minute.
9. I have better things to do
I'm not going to put much effort into crafting quality sexts for a stranger. If I do decide to entertain him for a few minutes, it's probably just because I'm with friends and we've already had a few bottles of wine. Consider yourself warned.
10. What's the rush?
I'm suspicious of guys who don't have time for small talk. Are they genuinely so busy that they can't even ask me how my day is going before inquiring about "naughty fun"? My first instinct will never be to invite them over right away. Instead, I'll probably enjoy wasting their time by pretending I'm interested in meeting up when I have no intention of going anywhere.
