If You're Still Hating On Your Ex, You Haven't Really Moved On

It's normal to have negative emotions towards your ex after a breakup, depending on how it all unfolded. However, there comes a time when holding on to those feelings and solely blaming your ex for everything that went wrong is no longer productive. If you find yourself still consumed by anger towards your ex, it could be a sign that you're not as over the relationship as you think.

1. He doesn't actually matter anymore

Now that you're no longer together, there's no reason to let your ex continue to provoke you. While he may have been a significant person in your life in the past, that's no longer the case. If you find that his actions, thoughts, or words still affect you, it's a problem you need to address on your own, rather than his.

2. You were probably half to blame

Breakups usually involve two people, and it's unlikely that one person is solely responsible for everything that went wrong. Even if your ex cheated on you and treated you poorly, it's important to acknowledge that you're not perfect either. While it's understandable to feel anger towards him, at some point, it's necessary to let it go in order to move on. Choosing to forgive rather than playing the victim can make it easier to do so.

3. Holding a grudge is unhealthy

Continuing to hold onto negative emotions towards your ex isn't productive for anyone, including yourself. Hating him doesn't punish him, but it does harm you. If you're holding a grudge, it's possible that it's the only connection you feel to your past relationship, but in reality, it's not a healthy or beneficial one. Deep down, you know this to be true.

4. You should barely think about him at this point

If you have genuinely moved on from your ex, he shouldn't occupy much of your thoughts, and you certainly shouldn't be getting angry about things he did. It's natural to take time to overcome anger, but it's important to be aware of how much time and energy you're spending on those negative feelings towards him. To break free from those emotions, make a conscious effort to distract yourself every time a negative thought arises. If you haven't gone through this process yet, it's something you still need to do.

5. You're still wondering "what if?"

If you're still fixated on your ex's mistakes and wishing things had turned out differently, you may not have fully accepted the reality that your relationship is over. To move on, it's crucial to acknowledge that it's ended for good and stop wasting time on regrets.

6. You haven't learned anything

Even failed relationships can provide valuable lessons to learn from. If you're still unable to reflect on where you may have gone wrong, it's a sign that you're still emotionally attached. However, if you can genuinely appreciate the lessons you learned from your ex's negative behavior, you've successfully moved on.

7. You still care what he's doing now

If you're still interested in your ex's personal life, such as who he's dating, and enjoy making snarky comments about it with your friends, it's a sign that you may still have unresolved feelings for him. If you've genuinely moved on, you wouldn't feel the need to keep tabs on his life and would no longer care about what he's up to.

8. You probably still bring him up too often

If you're still dwelling on negative feelings towards your ex, it's possible that you may discuss him with your family and friends to gain validation for your emotions. You might find comfort in talking about how terrible he was with others. However, this behavior may indicate that you haven't fully moved on from the past. If you've truly let go of the hurt, you wouldn't feel the need to keep bringing it up with others.

9. You're still petty AF

If you secretly wish for something bad to happen to your ex, such as his new partner cheating on him and breaking his heart, it's a sign that you haven't fully moved on. When thoughts of him do cross your mind, you should only hope for his happiness and well-being. Anything else is negative, petty, and serves no useful purpose.

10. You haven't forgiven him

If you've truly forgiven your ex, you wouldn't harbor any more anger or resentment towards them. Forgiveness doesn't imply weakness, but rather strength. By choosing to forgive, you prioritize your own emotional well-being and allow yourself to move on from the past. While you might never forget what happened, forgiveness can be liberating and help you find peace.