It's exciting when you meet a guy who seems great and things are going well. However, one major hurdle to overcome is determining if you are in an exclusive relationship or if he is still seeing other people. It can be challenging to figure this out if you are not comfortable having an open and honest conversation about it. If you're unsure about your relationship status and want to find out if he is seeing other people, here are 15 signs to look out for.
1. He Often Mentions How Much He Likes "Hanging Out" With You
If your relationship has progressed beyond the casual stage, it may be confusing if your partner frequently talks about how much fun they have with you and how much they enjoy your company, yet simultaneously makes it clear that they want to keep things casual.
2. He Gets Weird When You Mention A Relationship
If you notice that your partner becomes uncomfortable or distant when the topic of commitment or monogamy comes up, it could be a sign that they are seeing someone else. Alternatively, this behavior could also indicate that they have commitment issues, which can be just as challenging in a relationship. For example, if you are simply discussing your friend's happy relationship and your partner suddenly becomes distant, it could be a red flag.
3. He's Not Texting You Often
In the past, it may have been more acceptable for partners to have infrequent or inconsistent communication. However, nowadays, this can be a red flag indicating that the person you are seeing is not fully committed to the relationship. While your partner may simply be a poor communicator, you should be aware if their behavior approaches ghosting.
4. He Changed How Regularly He Contacts You
If your guy was attentive and quick to communicate with you when they were trying to win you over, but now takes longer to respond or has become less communicative, it could be a sign that something has changed in the relationship. For example, if they used to be in touch with you constantly and now you are waiting hours for a simple greeting, it may be worth considering that there could be an issue.
5. He Makes No Mention Of The Future
If your partner's birthday is coming up and they deflect or avoid the conversation when you ask about plans, or if they are not making any mention of plans, it could be a sign that they do not expect there to be a future in the relationship. This lack of planning for the future may indicate that they are not fully committed or invested in the relationship.
6. He's Texting A Lot When He's With You
If your partner is responsive to texts from others but takes a long time to reply to your messages, or if they are actively texting while in your presence, it may be a sign that they are seeing someone else. While there could be a valid reason for their behavior, such as a family or work emergency, if they indicate that nothing critical is going on and continue to be distracted by their phone, it could be a sign that the relationship is not a priority for them. In this situation, it may not be worth trying to determine if they are seeing other people.
7. In General, He's Distracted When He's With You
If he seems distant or disengaged when you are together, it could be a sign they are not fully present in the relationship. This could manifest in behaviors such as not making eye contact, not actively participating in conversations, or not seeming interested in spending time with you. While you can try asking what is going on, you might not like the answer. If your partner is not engaged with you, their mind may be elsewhere.
8. He Blatantly Checks Out Other Women In Public
If your partner is not even attempting to be subtle about their interest in other people, it could be a major red flag that they are pursuing or considering pursuing relationships with others. For example, if they openly stare at other people, especially in a disrespectful manner, it could be a sign that they are not fully committed to the relationship. This behavior is not only disrespectful, but it is also a strong indication that they are interested in other people.
9. He's Always In A Rush And Doesn't Have Much Time To Hang Out
If you have been looking forward to a dinner date with your partner but they seem rushed, ordering and eating their food quickly and declining dessert, it could be a sign that they are eager to leave. While it's possible that they simply eat quickly, it could also be an indication that they have another commitment or are trying to get to another date.
10. You're Never Involved In Plans
If you find out that your partner attended an event or activity that you expressed interest in, but they did not include you or make plans with you to attend together, it could be a sign that they are not interested in including you in their activities. For example, if you see on Instagram that your partner went to an art exhibit that you mentioned wanting to go to, but they did not invite you to join them, it could indicate that they are not invested in the relationship. In this situation, it may be best to reassess the relationship and consider moving on.
11. He's Hesitant To Bring His Friends Around You
If your partner's friends or acquaintances reveal information about their interactions with other people, it could be a potentially problematic situation for them. For example, if they have had one too many drinks and accidentally mention someone they have been seeing or if their friends are unaware that they are seeing other people, it could create issues in the relationship.
12. His Social Media Is Filled With Pictures Of Other Girls
If your partner frequently posts pictures on social media of themselves with attractive individuals, especially if they are shown kissing or embracing, it could be a sign that they are interested in flirting or pursuing relationships with others. Similarly, if they only post pictures of themselves surrounded by groups of attractive people, especially those who are of a certain appearance, it could be a sign that they are actively seeking out romantic or sexual opportunities.
13. Conversely, You're Never On His Snap Story
If he posts pictures of food on Instagram from your dinner together but fails to tag you, and if he frequently posts silly things to his story but never posts about significant moments with you on Snapchat, it could be a sign that he is avoiding the conversation about the status of your relationship with you and other people. On the other hand, if you are comfortable with each other, it is common to share these types of things on social media. But if he is avoiding the topic, it may be a red flag.
14. He Cancels… A Lot
If you frequently receive texts from him that contain generic excuses for canceling plans, such as saying he's not feeling well or is tired, it may be a sign that he is ditching you for other plans. While it is normal for plans to change occasionally, if this becomes a habit, it may be worth listening to your instincts and considering whether this behavior is acceptable to you.
15. He Gets Shifty When Asked Certain Questions
If he becomes evasive or uncomfortable when asked about his plans from the previous weekend or when confronted with the question of the nature of your relationship, it may be a sign that he is not ready to commit to you. On the other hand, someone who is ready to commit should be open to discussing these types of questions and may even initiate the conversation themselves.
16. You Notice He's Using Your Name Less And Less
If he is seeing multiple people and trying to keep it a secret from you, he may be hesitant to use your name. If he consistently refers to you only as "babe" or avoids addressing you by name altogether during a date, it could be a sign that he has something to hide.
17. He Says Someone Else's Name In Bed
If the person you are seeing slips up and uses another person's name during a romantic moment, it could be a sign that he is talking to other people. Even if it is just an ex-girlfriend or a mistake, it still puts you in an uncomfortable situation. This is likely what he is trying to avoid by not using your name in the first place.
What To Do If You Suspect He's Seeing Someone Else
1. Tread Carefully
It is advisable to recognize that your suspicions that he may be seeing someone else do not necessarily mean that it is true. Accusing him of this without being certain can have serious consequences and cannot be undone. Therefore, it is important to take your time and gather all the necessary information before bringing up your concerns with him.
2. Gather Your Evidence
It is important to have as much evidence as possible before accusing him of cheating on you. This will help ensure that you have a strong case and that he will have a difficult time denying it. To gather evidence, you can try searching social media, looking for clues in your shared living spaces, or asking friends for information. It is important to be thorough in your investigation so that you can be as confident as possible in your accusations.
3. Confront Him
If you are confident that he is seeing someone else, it may be time to have a conversation about it. Be honest and direct about your concerns and how his actions have made you feel. If he values your relationship, he may admit to what he has done and apologize for hurting you. However, there is no guarantee that this will be the case.
4. Prepare To Eat Crow If You're Wrong
There is always the possibility that you are mistaken about his infidelity. If this is the case, you may need to apologize and admit that you were wrong. However, it is also important to be prepared for the possibility that he may end the relationship as a result of your accusations, as mistrust can be a major strain on a relationship.
5. Leave Him If You're Right (or You Can't Shake The Feeling That You Are)
If he confesses to cheating or you do not believe him when he denies it, you may need to end the relationship. It can be difficult, but it is important to be with someone you trust and who is honest with you. If you cannot have these things in a relationship, it may be best to move on, even if it is painful.