Although being single and feeling lonely can be a perfect storm that makes you miserable, they do not always go hand in hand. Even if you are comfortable with being alone, it is unrealistic to think that you will never experience loneliness. When it does happen, it is essential to keep the following things in mind to prevent it from consuming you completely:
1. It could be worse
In addition to being honest, sometimes tough love and a dose of reality can help put things in perspective. It's important to remember that things could be worse, and to take a moment to appreciate the good things and people in your life. You have a supportive network of friends and family, a fulfilling career that you're excited about, and an eagerness to see what the future holds. It's worth remembering that some people don't have any of these blessings.
2. You've been lonely before
You have experienced negative emotions and difficult times before, but you have survived them all. You are still here, and you will also make it through the current tough times. By reminding yourself that everything is impermanent, including your feelings on any given day, you can make it easier to navigate through difficult moments. The more you practice this mindset, the better equipped you will be to work through future challenges.
3. You're building character
Strength is not something that simply appears out of nowhere. Like anything else in life, it requires effort and hard work to develop. When you are feeling lonely, it's important to remember that this is a crucial part of building character and developing resilience. While it may not seem like much of a consolation in the moment, the benefits will become apparent in the long run. Ultimately, going through tough times can make you a stronger and more capable person.
4. You're doing your best
At times, you need to acknowledge that you are doing the best you can for today, this week, or even this month. It's not always possible to do more than that. You may find work to be particularly stressful or struggle to balance everything, and that is perfectly normal. Allow yourself to feel the emotions of loneliness and work through them. Remember that you are only human, and it's okay to have limitations and challenges.
5. You don't have to be alone if you don't want to be
If you don't feel like spending the evening or weekend alone, reach out to your closest friends and plan to go out for drinks or invite them over for a cozy night with snacks and drinks (preferably wine!). Alternatively, you could ask your mom to have dinner together. Remember, you have people in your life who care about you, and you don't have to feel alone just because you're not in a relationship. Don't hesitate to reach out and spend quality time with the people who love and support you.
6. Loneliness inspires you to seek companionship
While feeling lonely is never a pleasant experience, it can be necessary from time to time. Sometimes, experiencing loneliness can motivate you to keep trying when it comes to love and dating. If you never felt lonely, you may not feel the desire to seek out a partner in life. This could make it difficult to find a fulfilling relationship. So, if you do experience feelings of loneliness, try to view it as an opportunity to reflect on what you truly want in life and what steps you can take to achieve your goals.
7. You're normal
If you need reassurance that what you're feeling is normal, here it is: everyone experiences these emotions at some point or another. There's no need to be hard on yourself for feeling this way. It doesn't make you weak or a loser, it simply makes you human, just like everyone else. So, be kind to yourself and remember that it's okay to struggle with these emotions. What's important is how you respond to them and what steps you take to work through them.
8. You can learn from it
When you feel uncomfortable, it can be an opportunity for growth and learning. Just like how practicing challenging yoga poses can lead to greater physical and mental strength, facing uncomfortable emotions can also help you learn more about yourself. Rather than avoiding these feelings, try to embrace them and see what lessons you can learn from them. This can lead to powerful revelations about the type of career or relationships you want in your life. So, be open to discomfort and use it as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.
9. You're developing your empathy
When you practice self-compassion, it can also help you be more compassionate towards others. Going through tough times can give you a greater understanding and empathy for what others may be going through. By being kind and understanding towards yourself, you can also become a better friend and give great advice to those who may be struggling. So, remember that your own experiences can help you be a source of support and comfort to those around you.
10. You won't always feel this way
When you're going through a difficult time, it can be hard to imagine things getting better, but they always do. Even if you're struggling with feelings of loneliness and uncertainty now, it won't last forever. Remind yourself that this is just a temporary challenge, and that things will eventually improve. Hold onto the hope that the future holds better days, and keep moving forward with positivity and resilience. Remember that tough times don't last, but tough people do.
11. You will love being in love
Although it's not always healthy to prioritize the idea of love over the person you're actually with, experiencing periods of intense loneliness can remind you of the value of having someone to share your life with. When you do eventually fall in love with someone who is right for you, you'll appreciate it so much more because you'll understand what it's like to feel lonely and yearn for companionship. Cherish the experience of being in love, and hold onto the memory of how it feels to be without it. This will help you appreciate your partner and your relationship even more.
12. You're where you need to be
Embrace your current situation, even if you sometimes wish things were different. Remember that your life is beautiful and amazing, even when you're feeling down. Look for the silver lining and focus on the good parts of your life, and you'll get through this tough time.