If He's Not Making An Effort, Why Are You?

In a healthy relationship, both parties should contribute equally. If you find yourself putting in all the work while your partner is passive, it's important to question the dynamic.

1. You're better than this

It's important to recognize that you deserve more and that you are better than settling for a one-sided relationship where you give everything and receive nothing in return. Take a good look at yourself and realize all of your positive qualities, and understand that you are worth more than that kind of treatment.

2. You need to take a stand

When we are deeply in love with someone, we may have a tendency to overlook negative behaviors or forgive things that we wouldn't normally tolerate. However, it is important to take a step back from the relationship and look at the situation objectively. This can be difficult, but it is necessary to break the cycle of giving everything and receiving nothing in return. By examining the relationship honestly, you can make informed decisions about your future and what kind of treatment you deserve.

3. Aren't you exhausted?

It is not fair for one person to always initiate plans and put in all the effort in a relationship. It is important to assess if the person you are seeing is putting in the same level of effort and showing the same level of interest. You deserve to have someone who is also invested in making the relationship work and not just relying on you to do all the work. It is time for the other person to step up and take responsibility in the relationship as well.

4. You wouldn't let a friend tolerate this BS

If a friend confided in you about feeling like they were the only one putting effort into their relationship, you would likely advise them to end it and move on. The same advice applies to you in this situation. Recognize that a relationship where one person is consistently putting in all the effort and receiving nothing in return is unfair and you deserve better. You should take your own advice and consider ending the relationship and moving on.

5. You can't do this forever and respect yourself

It is detrimental to your self-respect to allow yourself to be taken advantage of in a relationship. Being a "fool" in a relationship means giving the other person too much power and control, resulting in an imbalanced dynamic. It is essential to maintain your self-respect and not allow yourself to be in a situation where you are constantly being taken advantage of. In order to keep your self-respect in check, it is important to not play the role of a fool in the relationship.

6. Don't convince yourself he doesn't realize it

It is unlikely that the person you are seeing is unaware of their lack of effort in the relationship. It is more likely that they are aware of their actions and are comfortable with the imbalance. By continuing to put in effort, you are enabling their behavior and allowing them to remain complacent. People who do not make any effort while their partner does are not contributing to the relationship and can be considered as good-for-nothing. It is important to address this issue and not just accept this behavior.

7. You can't place your bets on change

If you have come to the realization that you are the only one putting effort into the relationship, it is unlikely that the other person will change their behavior. People tend not to change and expecting them to make an effort in the relationship when they haven't been previously is unrealistic. It is important to understand that if they are not willing to put in effort in the relationship, it is unlikely that they will put in effort to become a better partner. This is not a personal attack on them but a statement of fact.

8. You don't have the time

It is important to consider how much time and energy you have in your life to devote to a relationship. When you factor in your career, social life, family obligations, and personal time, it is unlikely that you have enough hours in the day to constantly put in effort into a relationship with someone who is not willing to do the same. It is important to prioritize your time and energy and make sure you are not neglecting other important aspects of your life in order to cater to someone who is not making an effort in the relationship.

9. You need to understand he's not the only guy out there

It is important to remember that there are other options and people in the world. Being in a one-sided relationship where one person is putting in all the effort and the other person is not can be debilitating, and it's important to not get caught in that trap. There are plenty of people who are willing and eager to put in the effort in a relationship. It is important to not settle for less and to be open to the possibility of finding someone who is truly invested in the relationship.

10. It's OK to be selfish

It's important to take care of yourself and put your own needs first. When you have given your all in a relationship and received nothing in return, it is okay to walk away and move on. If the other person is not willing to step up and take responsibility, it's time to consider ending the relationship and finding someone who is willing to make an effort. Being selfish in this case is not a bad thing, it is taking care of yourself and not settling for less than you deserve.