It's easy to distinguish between a man who lacks dating experience and simply doesn't understand the fundamental principles and a man who is just being lazy. If the person you're seeing doesn't make an effort to make you feel valued and loved, it's not worth investing any more time and energy into the relationship. If they can't treat you well while dating, it's best to not continue seeing them.
1. He's A Grown Man — What's His Excuse?
A man in his twenties or thirties should have no problem treating their partner with respect and care while dating. The basics of dating involve asking someone out, being punctual, making the effort to have a good time together, and following up if the date went well. There's no reason for it to be so difficult.
2. "Hanging Out" Isn't A Date
It's time to reject the idea that "hanging out" counts as a proper date. Spending a night on the couch with takeout food and streaming movies is not a date – it's just a normal Friday night for a single person. If someone can't be bothered to plan a public outing and put effort into it, like making a reservation for dinner and dressing nicely, then you're better off staying home on your couch with your own Netflix account. You don't need a partner to do the same things you already do on your own. A good date should involve an effort to make things more exciting and memorable.
3. Coming Over Last Minute And Late At Night Isn't Romantic
It might seem sweet that he's thinking of you at 1 a.m. on a Saturday after a night out with his friends and wants to see you at the last minute, but it's not cute at all. You're not a last-minute option or a 24-hour drive-thru window. Let his call go to voicemail and don't return the message. You deserve better.
4. You Shouldn't Be Waiting Days For A Reply
The "I'm too busy" excuse that many men give women is complete nonsense. If someone wants to see you, talk to you, and check in on you, they will make time for you no matter how busy they are. If you're waiting days for a reply or weeks for them to make plans with you because they're "too busy," consider other options and don't wait around for someone who can't make the effort. If they can't prioritize you, you shouldn't prioritize them either. If they're not interested, they lose the opportunity.
5. If Sex Is His Main Agenda, Tell Him Goodbye
It's frustrating when some men prioritize sex over getting to know their partner on a deeper level. If you're dating someone who is overly aggressive in pursuing physical intimacy and you're looking for a more meaningful connection, stop investing your time in them. Reserve your energy for someone who genuinely wants to know you as a person, not just in a sexual context.
6. You Deserve To Be Appreciated
It's your responsibility to eliminate undesirable partners and those who are weak or lazy before getting involved in another unhealthy relationship. As difficult as it may be, you deserve to be with someone who treats you with kindness and respect and is genuinely excited about being with you. Don't settle for less and keep working towards finding a partner who meets these standards by avoiding those who don't.
7. The Right Guy Will Make You Feel Excited Every Day
When you meet someone who knows how to treat you well while dating, you'll feel excited about every day you get to spend with them and you shouldn't settle for less. Life is too short to waste your time with mediocre partners who only care about their pleasure and put in minimal effort. True love is worth waiting for.
8. How He Dates You Is How He Will Love You — Pay Attention
A person's behavior while dating can be indicative of how they will treat you in the long term. If someone can't be bothered to communicate with you or plan meaningful activities together, likely, their behavior will not improve in the future. You get what you accept in love, so if a person isn't making an effort to be romantic, they may not be looking for a serious relationship and may not be the right fit for you. Be cautious.
9. If He Ignores Your Concerns, He's Not Worth Your Time
Some men won't even listen to you when you express your wants and expectations for a relationship. But it's not your responsibility to teach them basic communication skills. If someone doesn't make an effort to change their behavior after you've told them that you want to go on actual dates or hear from them more often, it's a sign that they're not interested in meeting your needs. Save your breath and move on.
10. You Have Better Stuff To Do Than To Date Someone Who's Lazy
There are better ways to spend your time than dating someone who can't seem to get it right and doesn't seem to want to try. You don't have to "hang out" with someone who doesn't make you feel special. You don't have to answer late-night calls just to see them and you don't have to settle for less than you want. Sometimes you have to accept that certain people are not right for you. You deserve someone who makes a genuine effort, so if someone can't treat you well while dating, it's best not to continue seeing them.
It can be challenging to determine what is reasonable to expect in a relationship. You don't want to have unrealistic demands, but it's important to ensure that you're not settling for less than you deserve. It's okay to have high standards in love, and doing so can prevent heartbreak and disappointment in the future. Believe in yourself and your worth.
If You Struggle To Set High Standards In Love…
Establishing boundaries and standards in relationships can be difficult, but it gets easier with practice. The more you set and enforce your expectations, the more comfortable you will become with walking away from people who don't meet them. Here are some tips to help you get started.
1. Love Yourself First
RuPaul's famous phrase is a reminder of a crucial rule to live by: if you don't love yourself, it will be difficult to love someone else. Prioritizing your well-being and learning to give yourself love, care, and romance is essential. When you recognize your worth, you will be less likely to let someone else take advantage of or disregard it.
2. Choose Your Partners Wisely
If you've had a string of unsuccessful relationships or almost-relationships, it could be because you're choosing the wrong partners. Pay attention to red flags from the start and don't continue seeing someone if you notice any. This is about protecting yourself, so don't waste your time on someone who is not worth it.
3. Be Realistic
It's important to be realistic when setting relationship standards and expectations. Nobody is perfect and life is not a fairytale. You are not a princess and no man is Prince Charming. It's easy to have unrealistic expectations that will only lead to disappointment. Make sure you're not setting unrealistic expectations for your partner with a list of unrealistic demands.
4. Don't Hold Grudges; Be Willing To Forgive
Since nobody is perfect, a guy may make mistakes sometimes. While the severity of the transgression should be taken into consideration, minor mistakes such as canceling a date or being late should be forgiven. If you're too inflexible, you may miss out on good opportunities.
5. Learn How To Compromise, But Not All The Time
Compromise is essential for successful long-term relationships, so it's important to learn how to do it. However, it's not something you should always have to do, especially if your partner isn't also compromising. Stand up for what's important to you, but be willing to be flexible in certain situations.
6. Accept That Sometimes, It Really Is You, Not Them
It's important to remember that no one is perfect, including yourself. Sometimes, a relationship may not work out because of your flaws. It's important to be aware of your imperfections and use them as opportunities for personal growth, rather than feeling discouraged.
