Sadly, love is blind. And in many cases our blind hearts lead us directly into the traps of partners who do not know how to love anyone but themselves. Here are 20 toxic signs of your significant other being a covert narcissist with examples.
1. Take It Or Leave It Approach
When he asks you to make a choice it sounds more like an ultimatum. And at the end of the day there was never a choice to begin with.
2. It’s Him And No One Else
Ever noticed how every sentence he says involves words like “I”, “me”, “mine” and so on? Not a good sign.
3. Master Of Puppets
One way or another he gets to affect the way you think or act, even if it doesn’t agree with who you are. All narcissists feed off the insecurities of their victims and always get what they want.
4. He Cares About Strangers’ Opinions
Whenever he meets someone new, he goes out of his way to seem like the best person in the world. This also involves devaluing others, including you.
5. His Double Standards
It is not OK for you to be mean to his friends, but each time you bring up a friend of yours, he is unapologetically rude. Hypocrisy at its finest.
6. You Are Always The One To Blame
It’s not him, it’s you. Every time your relationship hits a bump it is always your fault because an angel like him would never do anything to hurt the love you two share.
7. Multiple Personalities
There is a multiple personality disorder and then – there is him. He can be deliberately nice to coworkers and friends, but turn into the devil himself when you two are alone.
8. Negativity Is His Drug
Causing drama and disputes everywhere he goes is kind of his hobby. But who is left to clean up the mess? Well, not him, of course.
9. He Is The Best At Everything
He always claims to know better, even when he doesn’t have a clue. Ironically, this leads to you ending up in awkward situations and him staying high on his pedestal.
10. He Won’t Listen To Criticism
He truly believes that he is the best at everything he does, which means that there is definitely no room for criticism. Everyone who is not fond of him is probably jealous or secretly in love with him. Yeah, right.
11. Drama Lama
Sometimes he acts like a character from a soap opera, especially when others are looking. And don’t forget his specialty – creating drama from nothing.
12. Excuses, Excuses
If there is a situation, where no one else but him is to blame – he will come up with a thousand excuses. And the worst part – most people around him seem to believe in them.
13. He Always Seeks Validation
Although he seems like he is very self-confident, he needs to constantly find confirmation of his perfection. More often than not will he achieve it by faking being nice and considerate to strangers.
14. Unhealthy Perfectionism
He always pushes himself and the others to the limit, which he understands as perfection. It is not rare for narcissists to excel at their careers at the expense of their own health and love lives.
15. He Doesn’t Comprehend Empathy
Because he is not capable of feeling empathy, he often considers the kindness of other people insincere. You can even hear him make sarcastic jokes about the less fortunate.
16. He Keeps Breaking And Fixing You
You are most likely his favorite toy and his game of choice is to break you into pieces and then glue them together. For example, to scream from the top of his lungs in the evening and meet you with flowers and chocolates the next day.
17. He Lives In The Past
He remembers everyone that has ever been less than pleasant to him and holds sincere hatred in his heart. Oh, and of course he doesn’t miss a chance to talk about the poor treatment episodes from his past.
18. His Defense Mechanism
People are rarely born narcissistic, which means a certain event or series of events have caused him to hide his vulnerability and mask it with anger. The thing for you to remember – it is not your job to fix him.
19. The Wrong Kind Of Love
You no longer seem to recall that love is a two way street. Giving all you have to him, without getting anything in return isn’t love, it’s worshiping. And he is not a god to be worshiped.
20. Emotional Abuse
The fact that you allow everything above to happen is already a confirmation of emotional abuse. As long as you keep justifying his behavior and hoping that he will change – you are keeping yourself locked in his cage.