If He Doesn't Love You, Why Does He Keep Coming Back?

Choosing to distance yourself from someone is a valid decision when you do not have romantic feelings for them. However, there are instances when men continue to reappear in your life, even after expressing their lack of affection towards you. Here are some possible explanations for this behavior. It's important to remember that regardless of the reason, whether he's manipulating or taking advantage of you, you deserve to be loved in the way that you desire.

1. He's Bored Or Lonely

Humans can behave in peculiar ways when feeling lonely. It's possible that a person may continue to come back to you even when they have made it clear they don't have feelings for you because they are attempting to fill a void. It may be hard to accept, but some individuals would rather engage in a casual relationship with someone they don't love than be alone. Similarly, boredom can also be a factor. It's not uncommon for someone to reignite a romantic interest simply because they have nothing else to occupy their time.

2. He Needs Validation

He may be returning to you because he seeks validation. Engaging in a fling or relationship can be a significant ego boost for individuals, indicating that someone finds them desirable enough to pursue romantically. It's possible that he enjoys how you make him feel, but doesn't genuinely love you for who you are. Being with you could be boosting his confidence and making him feel more attractive or worthwhile.

3. He Likes You

While he may not have romantic love for you, his consistent return suggests that he still has some level of fondness towards you. It's improbable that he would keep returning if he didn't have any positive feelings towards you. Whether those feelings develop into love is subjective and varies from person to person. It's worth considering your history with him and the reasons why he doesn't love you. In some instances, his fondness for you could grow into something more substantial. However, if you've known him for a significant amount of time and he continues to return without change, it's probable that a romantic love relationship isn't a possibility.

4. His Other Options Run Out

It's a difficult reality to consider, but it's plausible that he's returning to you as a last resort because his other options have diminished. He may have a few other potential partners, and only comes back to you when he has no other alternatives. This behavior is often demonstrated when he is highly inconsistent, showing interest in you occasionally, but otherwise does not want to engage with you.

5. He Likes The Power Trip

Regrettably, dating and relationships can revolve around power dynamics. If he mistreats you, yet you continue to take him back, it's possible that he's deriving a twisted sense of power. Your actions confirm that he has control over you and can have you at his convenience. The relationship between Iris and Jasper from the iconic Christmas film, The Holiday, is a fitting example. Jasper knows that Iris will always be there waiting for him, and he relishes in it.

6. He Wishes He Loved You

A person repeatedly returning to you isn't always a sign of malintent. At times, he or she may genuinely wish they had romantic feelings for you. It's possible that they feel remorseful for how they've treated you previously, and their return could be an attempt to compensate for not being able to love you or not treating you well in the past. However, while their kind gesture may be well-intentioned, it may not be in your best interest. It's challenging to move on from someone when they continue to be a part of your life.

7. He's Using You

I'm sorry to have to say this, but there is a possibility that the man who keeps returning to you despite not having any romantic feelings for you is simply using you. He might be benefiting from something he's receiving from you, such as sexual gratification or other incentives, that makes it worthwhile for him to keep returning. As previously stated, he may also be exploiting you for validation or to bolster his self-confidence.

8. He Likes The Idea Of You And Him

Occasionally, a man might not be in love with you, but he might be enamored with the concept of you. You might appear to be everything he desires in a partner, yet he simply doesn't feel a strong connection with you. He might be upset with himself for not experiencing the emotions he desires to have for you, and he may be attempting to force those feelings by attempting to reconnect with you. Nevertheless, if he keeps ending things, it's an indication that his attempts to create a romantic relationship with you aren't working.

9. He Doesn't Want You To Be With Anyone Else

There is a possibility that a man keeps returning to you simply because he doesn't want you to be with anyone else. He may not have enough affection for you to be in a committed relationship, but he also doesn't want anyone else to have you. This could be for any of the aforementioned reasons. Perhaps you are the person he turns to when all other choices are exhausted. Maybe he knows he can always rely on you to tolerate his behavior. Regardless of the reason, his continuous presence in your life ensures that he can keep you under his control.