Published in Feb 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
Does he really love you? Yes, your heart longs for him and his affection. In fact, you've already pictured a future with him. However, he doesn't seem committed. He never shares his dreams and desires with you. You never seem to be part of his plans, and he also doesn't show emotional support and care.
If you were to follow what your heart is telling you, then you would be right to conclude that he isn't into you. While this is the reality, you find excuses to let him be yet you are suffering. You assert that he may be confused or is waiting for the right time. Simply put you are behaving like the ostrich which instead of facing the truth decides to bury its head in the sand.
If he isn't into you, he isn't into you, period. Nothing will change this. So don't expect him to be more serious, show more love and affection in the future. He'll remain the same. The sad truth is that you'll be the one in pain, suffering, and feeling less worthy.
Since the start of mankind, man has always been the hunter and the woman the hunted. He would go out of his way to show love and affection to the woman he loved. He never shied away from expressing his feeling, apologizing when wrong, or simply showing concern.
The right man will not only tell you how much he appreciates you but also shows it through actions. Holding you, listening to you attentively, sending a text, or calling just to know how you are doing. He will stand with you even in the hardest times and loves letting the world know that you are the one. So, how is it possible that you believe he is into you yet he seems less bothered by your personality, ambitions, dreams, and desires?
If the man was a little caught up with work, is trying to balance his career and work, or comes from an overly demanding family, then you may excuse him for having little time on his hands. However, he has all the free time in the world, but he still has little time for you. In fact, he will hang out with the boys quite often, yet takes you out once in a blue moon.
A man will know if you are the one from the onset of a relationship. He doesn't need time or being pressured to admit this. It happens naturally and you'll are able to tell that he finds value in you. He won't shy away from sending you a lovely text, calling you occasionally just to tell you he misses you, or asking about your future plans, what you'd like in the relationship, or spending time together.
But if he seems to make excuses for not doing what you expect from him, then you need to open your eyes. And if you speak to your heart, it will tell you that he ain't into you. And here you are making plans, torturing your heart, or accepting to be treated in a manner that is lower than your expectations.
It's high time you woke up and smelled the coffee and realize that he is just wasting your time. Add the more you put up with him, the less the chances you have for meeting Mr. Right. You shouldn't settle for anything less just because you fear walking away and having to start all over. In fact, it is the best decision you'd ever make.
Yes, it hurts to know that the one you love doesn't seem to care as much. Yes, it may be embarrassing to tell people that it never worked out, and yes you need a strong heart and mentality to finally accept reality and start all over again.
However, nothing lasts forever. And you'll get over it in due course. Would you rather stop a meaningless relationship now and increase your chances of finding your perfect soul mate, or rather stay in a boring relationship that leads to a dead marriage?
The secret to a healthy relationship is following your heart for it never lies. Unfortunately, rather than adhering to what it's telling us, many of us try to put a smokescreen on the problem. This will eventually "kill" us as well as the relationship.
A man who loves you will never hold back his feelings, play with your heart, or take you for a wild goose ride. He will categorically tell you how he feels more often than not. It can be a simple text message or phone call, or a gesture such as sending you flowers. Whichever the approach, you'll definitely know he has feelings for you.
The right man makes you a focal point in his life. He will make sacrifices; go the extra mile just to please you. It doesn't matter if he'll get embarrassed doing it or would mean him letting go of something valuable to him. This has always been the case even in the days of our ancestors.
It's a sad reality in knowing that he isn't into you. However, the hardest part is accepting this situation and moving on. Yes, it will take you some time to first accept and then move on. But you need to realize that all will be well in the end. Take baby steps while working on it one day at a time. Gradually, the episode will become past tense and you'll be opening up yourself to the perfect soul mate.