Even though my boyfriend is the best guy I have ever dated, and we are both extremely happy together, he constantly tells me that I make him happy and that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. Initially, these statements were endearing, but after a year of dating, I wish he would stop repeating them.
1. I Can't Be The Main Reason For His Happiness
I believe that individuals in a relationship must find their own happiness to have a healthy, satisfying life together. While I want to make my boyfriend happy, I cannot be his sole source of joy. It is essential to me that he can still find happiness even if I am not there for him.
2. Sometimes I Worry He's Giving Up His Dreams For Me
Every time I ask my boyfriend about his life goals, he tells me he wants to start a family with me. While this may sound ideal, I'm concerned that he's sacrificing too much of his individuality for our relationship. I want him to prioritize his own happiness and ambitions, instead of solely focusing on me. I'm actively pursuing my own dreams and finding fulfillment in doing so. Therefore, I want him to find something that gives him purpose and joy as well.
3. I Also Worry That It's Creating An Imbalance In Our Relationship
Although my boyfriend does make me happy, I don't go around expressing it all the time, nor do I feel that he's my sole purpose for being. While I feel guilty for not telling him as much as he tells me, I'm afraid of becoming one of those couples who are too dependent on each other. Unfortunately, this is causing me to feel uneasy about the relationship, as though the scale is tipping in my favor, and I'm not comfortable with that.
4. I Feel Like I'm Being Put On A Pedestal, And That's Not OK
Some people may think that being constantly told that you're perfect is the ultimate compliment, but I don't. In fact, it makes me feel as though my boyfriend sees me as someone who's too flawless, given that he frequently tells me that I'm "the perfect girl" in addition to how happy I make him. The truth is, I'm not perfect, far from it. I'm just a human being who makes mistakes, fails at things, lies occasionally, and even cries.
5. It's Really Starting To Stress Me Out
To be honest, all of this is starting to make me feel anxious. It's a lot of pressure when someone keeps telling you how happy you make them. What if you accidentally do something that doesn't make them happy? Or worse, what if you become boring? It's like the higher you climb, the harder you fall. For now, I want to stop climbing and alleviate some of the pressure.
6. I Don't Really Like Getting Attention
In my relationships, I've always preferred to be the one giving attention rather than receiving it. I enjoy focusing on my boyfriend and making him feel loved, but I'm not used to being the center of attention myself. This hasn't been a problem with any of my previous partners because they were all somewhat selfish and didn't pay too much attention to me. However, my current boyfriend is different and he wants to give me his undivided attention. I know this is a good thing logically, but I'm not quite ready for it yet.
7. It'd Be Nice To Hear A Different Compliment Once In A While
I understand that I make you happy, but I'd like to know what else you appreciate about me. It would be nice to receive more specific compliments from time to time, rather than feeling like they are just a default expression of love.
8. I Was Not Put On This Earth To Make Him Happy
I'm uncertain about the concept of there being a perfect soulmate or destined partner. I believe that love is a conscious choice that we make. Moreover, I recognize that my life encompasses more than just making my boyfriend content. Similarly, I understand that my boyfriend has his own individual goals and priorities, and I encourage him to pursue them.
9. I Think It's Time We Had A Talk
Writing about my thoughts and feelings is helping me prepare for a necessary conversation with my boyfriend. I want him to realize that his happiness shouldn't be solely dependent on our relationship. I hope to encourage him to focus on fulfilling his own potential and aspirations. Ultimately, I want him to be happy, and I believe this is the best way to achieve it.