Being alone for an extended period of time can alter you positively or negatively. During my solitary phase, I developed several habits specific to being single and became unfamiliar with how to act in a relationship. I've discovered an excellent partner now, and I don't want to jeopardize it. However, I require him to be patient while I regain my footing in this area of being in a relationship.
1. I don't know how to ask someone out on a date
Deep down, I still feel like a 14-year-old seeking love and dating guidance from "Dawson's Creek." Maybe my tendency to play it safe was why I remained single for a prolonged period. Even if a guy made the first move, I still wondered whether it was merely platonic or romantic. Perhaps he was interested in me, or maybe he was just being polite.
2. I'm not sure how things become official
Determining when a relationship becomes official typically involves a conversation, but one that I struggle to initiate due to a lack of courage. Being successful in dating requires both bravery and self-assurance, which can be scarce when you've been single for an extended period.
3. I don't know when it's appropriate for him to meet my parents
I used to think meeting your partner's parents meant the relationship was incredibly serious. However, introducing a new individual to your parents can be challenging. When my father meets a guy, he tends to ask countless questions, and if I'm uncertain if the guy is on the same wavelength as me, things can quickly become complicated.
4. I'm too invested in my own independence
Undoubtedly, independence is incredible, and being self-sufficient is liberating. However, I've realized that valuing solitude too much can hinder your ability to make plans with someone. For instance, if I desire to see a particular movie at 8:00, inviting a guy seems like an unnecessary extra step. Instead, I prefer to concoct a lie to myself about why he wouldn't enjoy the movie rather than ask him directly.
5. I'm a little bit more negative than I'd like to be
Being single for extended periods can severely affect your self-esteem, especially if you've made efforts to find a partner but had unsatisfactory outcomes. Although we single ladies like to see ourselves as content and positive individuals, there are times when we lack enthusiasm. Sometimes, I feel disheartened that I don't look as attractive as I did ten years ago. This thought has served as an excuse for being single before, and it's challenging to let go of a notion once I've convinced myself of it.
6. I'll probably doubt his feelings
When someone expresses their fondness for me, it affects me significantly. Although it may seem fantastic, it can also be challenging. I keep my guard up all the time to prevent any hurt, so even if the words are genuine and heartfelt, I tend to overanalyze and doubt them. This is especially true as my last breakup was particularly excruciating. Generally, it's challenging for me to let myself become vulnerable and open up my heart again.
7. Sometimes, it might be hard for me to compromise
For quite some time, I've been firm about doing things my way or not at all. I'm aware that this attitude is extremely unhealthy in a relationship, but changing such behaviors and thought patterns overnight can be challenging. Even though I understand that relationships should involve equal effort from both partners, I require some time to reach that point.
8. I might let my nerves get the best of me
Dating can be daunting, and let's face it, I'm out of practice. I'm not entirely sure what's changed since the last time I dated actively, and I'm apprehensive that I'm out of touch. Despite my best efforts to avoid ruining a potentially good relationship, I'm afraid I might unknowingly mess things up. Needless to say, it's quite a bit of pressure.
9. I'm scared I'll do something that'll make him realize that he doesn't actually like me
I don't have any significant secrets, but in the past, whenever a guy showed interest in me, I acted like he would eventually discover that I was a massive fraud. Maybe he liked me for a reason that was gradually fading away. Even now, I occasionally experience this feeling with friendships, and it's a reflection of my self-esteem issues. Typically, I overcome it, but it takes me longer than most people. I'm still a work in progress when it comes to relationships, but I'm actively trying to improve myself.