Writing to Slate's Dear Prudence advice column, a new bride revealed that she felt disrespected after the groom pulled a stunt involving a wedding cake.
A recently wedded woman revealed she wanted a divorce the day after the wedding ceremony. Everyone around her told her she was overreacting, so she opened up about her situation to Dear Prudence with no one left in her corner.
The bride's letter
By definition, marriage is built on communication, respect, and trust. You don't have to share interests or goals, but you need to respect each other's dreams and be supportive.
Speaking about this particular case, Dr. Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist and host of the podcast The Kurre and Klapow Show, expressed that romantic compatibility is "the degree to which each person's view of love, intimacy, and attraction (and the expression of these experiences) work together for mutual benefit."
For Jessmina "Minaa B." Archbold, psychotherapist, social worker, and author of Rivers Are Coming: Essays and Poems on Healing, romantic compatibility "means caring enough to learn about each other to strengthen the relationship bond while also learning about each other's needs."
People agree that you should feel loved and safe in a partnership. Otherwise, you are paying the price while the other side is along for the ride.
The publisher's response
JC Law, a legal firm, gave their input on when to get a divorce instead of mediation, claiming these are the signs that mediation won't work:
You're actively avoiding your partner;
They don't act like your partner;
You don't trust or respect your partner;
You've tried and tried and tried… But nothing changes;
You're worried about what others might think;
You're staying together for the kids;
It's cheaper to stay together;
You daydream about single life or dating;
You're thinking about separation, if not divorce.
Online community sides with the bride
The readers agreed that the couple's communication failed and that the new bride has every right to feel unsafe and disrespected.
Here are some of the comments from an online community:
Some comments were more balanced, while others were pretty certain that the woman should divorce.
Many readers asked valuable questions, though some managed to be witty in the process.
Clearly, the readers understand the bride better than her husband, and that is defeating.
Healthy boundaries should be set at the beginning of the relationship. But do you agree that the groom's indiscretion is a reason for divorce? Or should the newlyweds take time to figure things out?