I Think I Enjoy The Chase More Than I Enjoy Actual Relationships

Seeking a romantic partner is not inherently negative, but I acknowledge my tendency to pursue every person I meet as a potential match. This pursuit can be thrilling and intoxicating, but it becomes problematic when it becomes an addiction to drama and desire. Despite recognizing the need to stop this behavior, I still struggle to resist the urge to chase after others. Ultimately, my goal is to find a compatible and fulfilling partner.

1. I grew up watching movies that told me love is always supposed to unfold magically

Is it true that everyone experiences love at first sight? As I spend more time in the dating world, I am beginning to understand that attraction alone does not equate to compatibility. Despite this, I often find myself searching for that instant spark and when I experience it with someone new, I confuse it with love instead of acknowledging it as mere physical attraction.

2. Wherever I go, I'm scanning the room for the most attractive person

The desire to find a mate is an innate animal instinct. As humans, we are programmed to seek out companionship and reproduce, even if it's not always with someone of the opposite sex. While it's natural to appreciate attractive individuals, I have noticed that I tend to obsessively scan rooms in search of my next potential partner.

3. I think any next person I meet could be "The One"

When I focus my attention on someone, my thoughts race and I begin to envision who they are and what our relationship could be like. I get caught up in a world of fantasy and imagine a life together. Unfortunately, this delusional thinking hinders me from truly getting to know the person for who they are. Instead, I rely on fairy tale notions and assume I have them all figured out.

4. I'm too good at rationalizing my behavior

The rationalizations can be quite impressive, ranging from believing that timing is just right to thinking that someone may not be the perfect fit but maybe they know better. However, relying solely on my own reasoning often leads me to ignore red flags and repeat the same patterns. This is when having female friends who can spot my flawed logic and bring me back to reality becomes crucial.

5. I regularly find myself saying "I met someone new" to my friends

It's no surprise to my friends when they call or text me and the first thing I say is, "I met someone!" Their reactions usually involve eye-rolling, laughter, hugs, or a patient ear to listen (because my friends are amazing). They're always ready to join me on the rollercoaster ride of emotions.

6. I'm addicted to the adrenaline rush

There comes a point in my interactions where I have to decide whether to continue pursuing someone or back out. Sometimes, even if I know the person isn't right for me, I can't bring myself to walk away. Instead, I buckle up for the chase because I'm addicted to the thrill. Being with someone I'm intensely attracted to can feel like a euphoric high, but the aftermath can leave me feeling terrible when it doesn't lead to a relationship.

7. I confuse anxiety with excitement

Physiologically, anxiety and excitement can feel similar in our bodies, with a strange tingling sensation and heightened mood. Sometimes it's hard for me to differentiate between the two when I'm in the middle of a chase. More often than not, I'm actually experiencing anxiety, but I label it as excitement. It's only days or weeks later that I realize I was a complete mess the whole time.

8. I have a flair for the dramatic

I'm a very intense person; even when I'm aware that someone isn't worth my time, I still enjoy dabbling in the drama. Maybe things will turn out differently this time? Maybe it'll make for a good story? Perhaps it'll be enjoyable. The stories I concoct for myself are endless. Ultimately, I end up stirring up more drama than necessary.

9. I'm worried I'll end up alone

Although I might speak of my chasing behavior lightly, it's really driven by fear. I'm terrified that I'll end up alone and without a partner in life. This pattern isn't malicious, but rather stems from searching for love in all the wrong places. I know that seeking an adrenaline rush, moving too fast physically, and targeting every attractive person I encounter won't bring me lasting happiness. However, I believe that awareness is the first step towards change, right?

10. I'm terrified that good relationships don't exist

One of the reasons why I keep hopping from one chase to another is my fear that settling down or giving love a chance is pointless. Everywhere I look, I see unhappy couples and heartbreak. Pursuing someone new gives me a temporary high, but I know it's not sustainable. I'm starting to feel exhausted, and I realize that it's time to retire this pattern.