Inspiration

I Stopped Texting My Partner For A Week And Our Relationship Changed Drastically

Like many couples, my partner and I usually chatted about trivial matters through text instead of waiting to meet in person. When we were apart, we messaged each other frequently. However, everything changed when I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet, and I had to wait for a week to replace it.

1. The first day was no big deal

Upon dropping my phone in the toilet that morning, we discovered that it not only refused to turn on but also had a strong smell of urine. What a nightmare! However, since we were together, we spent the rest of the day visiting various stores to explore replacement options. Despite the inconvenience, we were more focused on deciding where to dine out.

2. I started getting really bored the next day

Losing my phone made me realize how much time my partner and I spent on them. The next morning, being phoneless, I made breakfast, lunch, and dinner since I didn't know what to do with myself. Although I tried chatting with my partner, he was still hooked to his phone. The day seemed longer than usual, and I went to bed early, feeling somewhat disheartened.

3. There was nothing to eat for dinner

On a Monday, I still didn't have my phone since Saturday, and I went to work like any other day. I informed everyone that I wouldn't be reachable by email or chat when I was away from the office, which wasn't a big deal. However, things took a turn for the worse when I came home later than usual to a dark and empty house with no food and no car to buy groceries. I missed an email from my boyfriend asking me to grab food on my way since he would arrive late. To remedy the situation, I ordered a pizza, but both of us were unhappy about the inconvenience.

4. I started to realize my boyfriend has control issues

My boyfriend had always been a bit insecure because of his ex-partners' infidelity. However, I hadn't realized that I would frequently text him throughout the day, informing him of my whereabouts and activities. But since I lost my phone, he started asking me those questions in person, which irritated me. We both left the conversation feeling angry. Furthermore, he even emailed me at work, which was unusual, and it made me realize that something was off.

5. We started to fight

By Wednesday, I intended to confront him about his peculiar obsession with constant communication. Unfortunately, our conversation turned into a massive argument. He even went as far as accusing me of intentionally throwing my phone in the toilet to cheat on him without getting caught. What the hell?! I shut down and went to bed. We didn't talk for the next 24 hours.

6. We eventually realized we couldn't go on like that

We couldn't ignore the issue any longer, so I initiated the conversation again. I expressed my concern about his excessive need for control, which had been present for a while, but I had overlooked it until now. We both shared our feelings, and it helped us grow closer. We both recognized that something had to change.

7. He joined me in stepping away from his phone

Following our discussion on Friday, we were both too exhausted to continue talking about our problem, so we planned a weekend hike. Walking and conversing have always been our preferred method of problem-solving. We agreed on some essential changes, such as no cellphone usage during meals or in the evening, and no texting unimportant information throughout the day. It might take him some time to adjust, but we both believed it would assist him in addressing his control issues. He also committed to seeking a therapist to discuss his concerns.

8. I felt free for once

The following day was fantastic, particularly because the phone company informed me that I would have a new phone by Monday. Additionally, I spent time with some friends, and despite my boyfriend's concerns, he didn't question or hassle me before or after I left. I had never realized how much his control issues affected me until my friends remarked that I was more at ease and enjoyable to be around when I wasn't checking my phone every few minutes.

9. I have a phone again, but I also have a better relationship

We abide by the rules we set, so I don't text my boyfriend back when he asks me questions about my whereabouts, unless it's necessary. We also try to minimize texting and only do it for important matters like running late or getting groceries. As a result, we are closer now and have more meaningful conversations when we're together. Overall, I am much happier with our new approach to using phones in our relationship.