Published in Dec 2018 / Updated in Aug 2021
I’m pretty confident that I did all that I could’ve done. I gave you my time and attention. I made plans with you and always made room for you in my life. With my words and my actions, I made it clear that I wanted you to be a part of my life. I chased after you and was not afraid of letting you and everyone else see that.
I pursued you in confidence because I genuinely believed in all that we could be. I wanted to talk to you all the time and spend quality time together, knowing that we would be doing all that for a long time.
To be quite honest, I just couldn’t help myself.
You sent me so many mixed signals, and at first, I thought that you were just nervous about taking that next step. I thought that you were just nervous about making me your girlfriend and I kept chasing after you in the hope that if you had enough time, you would finally get around to asking me. I was confident that we were meant to be and that is why I didn’t mind too much being the one to put in the effort.
When it didn’t happen, I became tired of always being the one to chase after you. I stopped being the one always to initiate conversations and make plans. I stopped following you around and always wearing my heart on my sleeve around you. I had chased after you for so long that it finally took a toll on me and I just gave up.
I made the decision to stop aggressively chasing after you, because, sad as it may be, it became clear that my affections will always be unrequited. You didn’t feel the same way about me, and there wasn’t much else that I could have done to make you think and feel as I felt.
Just because I stopped actively chasing after you doesn’t mean that I stopped wanting you, I still think of what we could be, and my feelings for you haven’t changed in the least bit. Even if I don’t let it show, I still daydream about what it would be like to share a deeper and more intimate friendship with you. I still catch myself texting you lovely messages but refrain from hitting that send button. Even though I don’t like all your pictures and posts on social media, I still look through everything.
I have chased after you long enough. It broke my heart to realize, after a very long time of investing myself, that our relationship will never be anything more than it is now. It would be even worse if you choose someone else despite all my efforts.
I put in the work, and it’s time you did too. If something is going to happen between us, I want to know that you want it as much as I do. It’s your turn to be the one that sends that first text, the one that makes plans to meet up and follows up, so they don’t fall through. I want the dynamics of this chase to change.
I may have stopped chasing after you, but I most certainly still want you. You know what to do and where to find me when you are ready, but please know that I will not wait forever.