I have been in relationships where things didn’t go well, and I could easily leave, but some relationships aren’t that simple. I stayed with a man in a toxic relationship for years because I couldn’t afford to leave him, and we always wanted to work things out. Fighting for lost love took a toll in my life, but I could not break things off because we lived together. I came to depend on the financial stability that being with him offered, and I could not afford to leave him.
Our financial situations led us to move in together.
In the beginning, We thought what the heck, we spend all our time with each other anyway why not just move in together. He was always at my place, or I was at his, so we thought it would be best if we saved the money and moved in together.
We had different taste and preferences.
Saving money blinded us from discussing our different preferences in the beginning. The moment we started unpacking we found out we had no common ground. We just assumed we will adapt to each other’s differences in time, but we were very wrong.
Arguing over little stuff.
I think while we were just dating we hid our real inner-selves from each other. We could not continue to pretend every day while we lived under the same roof. True colors revealed themselves, and the bad habits were nasty. Our love for each other started deteriorating quickly.
We shared the love for dogs, so we adopted one.
Before we moved in together we couldn’t afford pets, but now that we lived in the same home, the extra money allowed us to do and have more. We were holding on to the little hope that things would improve between us, and we both liked dogs, so we got one together. Our puppy brought us closer and helped us to get along better for a while, but the new found happiness was short lived.
We had no sex life.
Making love was a thing of the past. The urge to sleep together was no longer there after putting up with all of our differences. Even the intense makeup sex that couples experience was a fantasy. Our disagreements drained a lot of our energy.
We started to sleep separately.
It all started as a joke. My boyfriend would doze off on the couch while watching a movie. It became a habit later. Whenever we got into an argument, he avoided sleeping with me and slept on the sofa.
We ignored each other.
We could go on days without speaking to each other. We could carry on our activities like the other partner never existed in our world. The only thing that bound us was our lovely puppy.
We had huge disagreements.
Any opportunity to take a swipe and start an argument was readily awaited. The fights were very petty; groceries, toilet seat, dishes, and the television were some issues we fought about.
We started arguing like usual. The argument escalated to insults, and he got so angry toward me. His anger led him to slap me in the face. This was my final straw. I was emotionally traumatized, and despite how broke I was, I had to move out and stay with a friend until I could get on my feet again.
Leaving was expensive.
Moving in together was a mistake from the start. I should have never moved in with someone so soon, and I should have never stayed in such a toxic relationship for so long. I was so scared to leave, thinking that I would be completely broke with nowhere to go. Breaking our lease early affected my credit score, and it was hard to find a new place that would work with me on a security deposit. Thankfully I had a great friend who helped me with a place to stay until I was stable enough to get my own place. Moving in together made us prisoners in a dead relationship, and I learned my lesson the hard way.