I Stalked My Boyfriend On Facebook And It Wrecked Our Relationship

Initially, I believed that regularly checking my boyfriend's Facebook profile was no big deal. After all, I wasn't accessing his account or reading his private messages. Besides, we were friends on the social media platform. However, this so-called "harmless stalking" ended up ruining our relationship. Here are the reasons why I regret engaging in this behavior.

1. Stalking Made A Big Deal Out Of Nothing

I realized that I was overreacting to things on Facebook that I wouldn't have even noticed in real life. For example, when I saw that my boyfriend had visited his friend's house without informing me, I felt betrayed and lied to. But, in reality, it was just a casual visit after work, and he didn't owe me an explanation for every little detail of his life. On Facebook, however, small details felt like significant problems.


2. I Took Stuff Out Of Context

Misunderstandings are easy to come by when interpreting someone's Facebook wall. For instance, when my boyfriend's ex posted a sweet message with a winky-face emoji, I felt like she was flirting with him. Despite my boyfriend laughing it off and saying that it was nothing, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was there, and it began to stress me out.


3. I Intensified My Investigative Work

After his ex left a friendly comment on my boyfriend's profile, I found myself consumed with the urge to check their profiles every day. Deep down, I knew that if they wanted to communicate in private or meet in person, there was nothing I could do to stop them. However, I still felt the need to keep tabs on them in a desperate attempt to control the situation. Consequently, I found myself trapped in a vicious cycle of obsessively refreshing their profiles and scrutinizing every detail.


4. When He Mentioned Her A Week Later, All Hell Broke Loose

It was strange how his ex came up in conversation just a week after she left the friendly post on his wall. I foolishly drew a connection between the two and picked a fight with my boyfriend. Looking back, I feel ridiculous for reading into something that wasn't there.

5. I Wasn't Dealing With The Real Issues At Play

While I was busy stalking my boyfriend online, I realized that it wasn't helping our relationship. My trust issues made me feel excluded from his life, but instead of confronting him, I resorted to unhealthy behavior. I knew it was time to stop and address the real issues in our relationship.


6. There Was Always Someone To Suspect

As time passed, my anxiety shifted from my partner's ex to one of his friends. She frequently shared his posts and communicated with him on his wall. Reading their messages, I became consumed with thoughts of whether he was interested in her. I even went as far as examining her Facebook photo albums and comparing her appearance to mine. It was absurd; I was continuously finding reasons to suspect her as the woman he might cheat on me with, despite the fact that all they did was exchange messages.


7. I Couldn't Stop

My Facebook stalking habit had reached an unhealthy level, but I couldn't seem to break free from it. According to a study published in CyberPsychology & Behavior, Facebook users often fall into a "feedback loop." This means that when they come across suspicious wall comments on their partner's timeline, they become suspicious and continue monitoring their partner's page, which often leads to the discovery of even more dubious information. Sadly, I was trapped in that very cycle and couldn't escape it.


8. I Had To Break The Habit But It Broke Me

Despite being cautious enough to delete my browsing history, the truth about my online stalking eventually surfaced. Unfortunately, before I could put an end to the bad habit, my target discovered my intrusive behavior.

9. I Slipped Up And Exposed Myself

Upon returning from a weekend trip with his family, my boyfriend claimed to have done very little. However, I knew he was being untruthful because his Facebook timeline revealed that he had gone to the pub with some old friends. Though I attempted to obtain more information from him without revealing my source, our conversation escalated into an argument, and I eventually disclosed my knowledge of his social media activity.


10. He Logged Out Of Our Relationship

My boyfriend accused me of fabricating unnecessary conflicts and mistrusting him. He questioned why we were together if I couldn't believe him. As a result of my "crazy" behavior, he concluded that we should break up.

11. I Felt Like A Total Sleazeball

The truth is, I felt terrible about my behavior. Admittedly, it made me feel like I was going crazy. Although I regret stalking my boyfriend on Facebook, there must have been a reason for it, even if it wasn't right. I struggled with trusting him and often felt like he was keeping secrets from me. At times, I even wanted to argue with him, hoping to catch him in a lie to give me some satisfaction. Perhaps, deep down, I knew that this relationship wasn't right for me, and I was looking for a way out. Regardless of the reason, I recognize that my actions were inappropriate and I vow never to let Facebook interfere in my relationships again.