Most days, being single is a total delight that I thoroughly enjoy. However, there are occasional days when I feel down about not being in a relationship. During those low moments when I struggle to remember the benefits of solitude, I rely on these ten things to lift my spirits:
1. It's better to be alone than with the wrong person
I've had too many experiences of being with the wrong person, and I've made excuses for their unacceptable behavior while exhibiting toxic or codependent behavior myself. Now, when I realize that I am choosing to be alone rather than being with someone who is not a good match, I congratulate myself. It is much healthier to be alone than to be with someone who is not a good fit for me.
2. I've had plenty of opportunities to date, I just refuse to settle for someone who isn't a fit
If no single person had shown interest in me for years, I might be afraid, but that's not the case. Instead, people have shown interest in me regularly, and I have chosen not to pursue those connections because they weren't the right fit for me. It's not that these individuals are inferior to me; they just don't align with what I'm seeking in a partnership. Walking away from opportunities, even if it means being alone, makes me feel incredibly self-respectful and dignified. On difficult days, I remind myself of my strength in making these choices.
3. My gal pals are a phone call or a text away
When the feeling of utter loneliness creeps in, I remind myself that I have many dear friends who love me. Instead of dwelling in isolation, I call a close friend who can offer me a quick pick-me-up. Sometimes, I even send an "S.O.S. thinking of an ex" text to get out of my head. Lady friends are always there to help me overcome my feelings of loneliness.
4. I'm doing some hard emotional work while I'm alone
If I were constantly moping around post-breakup, feeling sorry for myself, that would be one thing. However, that's not the case. Instead, I am deeply examining my emotions to improve myself. I am discovering my quirks, tendencies, and behaviors that do not benefit me. On days when I feel down about being single, I remind myself that I am devoting significant time and effort to self-improvement. This investment will pay dividends in the future, whether I'm single or in a relationship.
5. Self-care is my partner
On difficult days, I prioritize self-care to make it through. I remind myself that I deserve love, pampering, and attention. I treat myself as if I were in the best relationship in the world. I indulge in delicious meals, get massages, engage in my hobbies, tidy up my surroundings, or spend time in nature. Treating myself like royalty always restores contentment to my life.
6. I'm good enough, lovable, and worthy
When I feel down about being single, negative thoughts often flood my mind, making me doubt my worth. To counteract these intrusive thoughts, I use positive affirmations and cognitive-behavioral techniques. I remind myself that I am valuable, deserving of love, and good enough just the way I am. This helps ground me in reality and eases the chaos in my mind.
7. I'm a total babe
On difficult days, my mind bombards me with negative self-talk about my appearance, which can be damaging to my self-esteem. Instead of succumbing to these toxic thoughts, I confront them by looking in the mirror and reminding myself that I am beautiful and my body is amazing just the way it is. Sometimes I even dress up and post selfies on Instagram to give myself an extra confidence boost!
8. Being the right person is more important than finding the right person
On days when I feel down about being single, I try to shift my focus away from finding a partner and remind myself that my priority is to work on becoming the best version of myself. By doing this, I am not only improving my own life but also increasing my chances of attracting the right person into my life. Instead of blindly searching for a mate, I strive to become the right person for my perfect match.
9. I trust the process of dating and life
On the subject of finding a partner, I prefer to trust the process and have faith that the universe will guide me to the right person. Rushing into things hasn't typically worked for me. Instead of obsessively swiping through dating apps, I'm taking a step back and letting things unfold naturally. I believe that the universe knows what's best for me.
10. It's just not my time yet
When it comes to finding a job, I can usually put in the effort and secure one. However, dating is different. Even with all my energy, I may still end up without a match. There's an element of fate at play. When I feel sorry for myself on those days, I remind myself that my match is out there, just not with me yet. I can choose to sulk or live my life anyway, and I choose the latter.
