It has been quite some time since I last engaged in any sexual activity. While it is certainly disappointing, I have also come to realize that intimate encounters often come with their own set of complications. I have certainly had my fair share of regrets in the past, which has led me to adopt a more abstinent lifestyle. This choice has resulted in a significant amount of frustration for me.
1. It Always Ends Up As The Focal Point
When it comes to dating, it often seems that the focus is exclusively on physical intimacy. Whether it's the build-up leading to it, the act itself, or discussing any issues that may arise, it takes a great deal of effort to maintain a satisfying sexual connection with another person.
2. It Ruins Everything
Perhaps my statement was a bit extreme, but it is a situation that I have encountered frequently. Many individuals will go to great lengths to attain sexual intimacy, only to reveal their true intentions once it has been achieved. Many times, what initially appears to be a promising connection turns out to be nothing more than a ploy to gain access to my body. Unfortunately, it is a common occurrence that leaves me feeling disappointed and disheartened.
3. Sex = Drama
It becomes a hindrance. Once the physical intimacy has begun, it seems to take precedence over other forms of connection, such as getting to know each other on a deeper level. On the other hand, if I choose to delay sexual intimacy, I find myself constantly questioning whether the other person's actions and intentions are genuine or if they are simply trying to manipulate me into bed. It becomes an all-consuming thought either way.
4. I Don't Want To Catch Feelings
It's a difficult predicament to be in. If I am not attracted to the person, the physical intimacy is unlikely to be enjoyable. Conversely, if I am attracted to the person, it opens up a whole host of potential problems. I don't want to develop feelings for someone who does not reciprocate them, and even if there is mutual attraction, the prospect of starting a relationship at this point is overwhelming.
5. Casual Sex Isn't Realistic For Me
I can assure you, I have attempted it in the past, but it never ends well. Each time I convince myself that a casual physical relationship would be manageable, one of the parties inevitably wants more, leading to complicated situations. I have been hurt by this scenario enough times to know that I should avoid engaging in physical intimacy with someone I am not in a committed relationship with.
6. I'm Terrified Of STDs
Given my age and intelligence, it is only reasonable for me to be concerned about contracting an STI. I find it difficult to trust new partners to be truthful about their sexual health, particularly when they are trying to initiate physical intimacy. It would be much more comfortable for me to see actual written evidence of a person's sexual health status before engaging in any physical activity.
7. I'm Also Terrified Of Pregnancy
I've been using birth control for many years, but it is not a fail-safe method. While I would not choose to have a child, the thought of potentially having to make that decision is terrifying. The emotional turmoil and guilt that would come with such a decision would not be worth the physical pleasure of sexual intercourse. I would prefer to avoid such a situation altogether.
8. Lack Of Communication Means Sub-Par Sex
Once more, to have a satisfying sexual experience, a strong emotional connection with a partner is necessary. Building such connections takes effort and time. I don't want to invest that time just for physical pleasure, I would like it to be effortless, but I know that's not a realistic expectation. I am aware that if I engage in physical intimacy with someone I am not emotionally invested in, I will likely feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied afterwards.
9. I Don't Have The Energy To Navigate The Complicated Stuff
I would greatly appreciate being able to engage in physical intimacy without the added commitment of a relationship. Given the current state of my life, I am dealing with a lot of change and uncertainty. However, I have come to realize that it is nearly impossible to have a straightforward sexual partnership with someone else. Even if it starts simple, it never remains that way for long. The complexities of human nature inevitably carry over into sexual interactions.
10. I'm Not Ready To Get Intimate With Someone
By intimate, I mean on all levels, not just physical. Physical intimacy can be as superficial as desired, but emotional intimacy cannot be fabricated and it is nerve-wracking. I am not able to engage in casual sexual encounters, yet I am also not ready to establish deep emotional connections with anyone. I find myself wondering what options are available to me in this situation.
11. I'm Afraid I'll Get Attached And Then I'll Get Hurt
At this point in my life, I am not in a position to handle having my heart broken, and I fear that engaging in physical intimacy with someone will ultimately lead to a painful outcome. As an emotional and affectionate person, it is challenging for me to maintain a casual sexual relationship without becoming emotionally attached. I know that if I were to sleep with someone regularly, I would inevitably develop feelings for them, and in turn, I would be deeply hurt if things were to end.
12. I Don't Trust Men At All When It Comes To Sex
I am aware that many individuals will use whatever means necessary to attain physical intimacy. Given my own negative experiences, as well as those of my friends, I question why I would even consider putting myself in such a vulnerable position. While I do have a desire for physical intimacy, it is not enough to justify the potential for being taken advantage of or being made a fool.
13. I Always Get Disappointed One Way Or Another
I understand that my perspective may come across as negative, but it is simply the reality of my situation. If I attempt to maintain emotional distance while engaging in physical intimacy, I find myself feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. On the other hand, if I choose to be open and vulnerable, I often develop feelings for someone who is not right for me, leading to a broken heart. In my opinion, the potential risks outweigh the benefits of physical intimacy.