I Love You All

I Love You All

I'm not saying that everyone deserves forgiveness, but if your family is driving you mad, you can show some effort. People do change, after all.

We all have several annoying cousins, full of BS. They pretend to know your life better than you, and they are always forcing their opinions. But, here's the thing: you can give them another chance, it's free. And it's liberating to be able to show that you're the bigger person.

Maybe right now, you're stuck with your family, and you think you're going to lose it. But, why not change things you can if you care at least one bit. Let's try to make these days, months more bearable. Who knows, maybe you'll discover they aren't that bad after all.

Set the boundaries

If your dysfunctional family doesn't understand the concept of healthy emotional boundaries, you have to create them on your own. Don't tell them what not to do, because they won't hear you. Instead, change the way you listen to them.

Perhaps they are obsessing over your career choices or love life. Will you change anything because some cousin said so? No. So, act as if they said something interesting. Let them think they are essential. Maybe, just maybe, they need to feel as if someone's listening to them. Perhaps they aren't such jerks.

Talk politely

Yeah, this is like sleeping with an enemy, one might think. But they are your family, and you most likely still care for them. You cannot exchange them, but you can change the way you talk to them. Goodbye, snarky comments, and hello sweetness.

When you're emotionally detached, it will be easy to talk slower in a politer way. Yes, you are the one doing all these changes because you want to keep your peace. And also, you don't want to regret harsh words and fights in a few years. If Jennifer Aniston managed to forgive Brad Pitt, you could accept your family.

Safe topics

You know that your family knows how to push your buttons. Instead of stressing out, it's time to take conversations into your hands. Pick some neutral topics, and stick to them. The moment they start to drift away, choose another one.

This is a very efficient and straightforward way to deal with toxic people in general. However, with other negative people, you know what to do: walk away. That's kind of impossible when they are part of your family. And since we're trying to save a dysfunctional mess, you should make a list of all topics that will work. It's a fun game if you change your perspective and see that you are the one rising above pettiness.

Don't be dramatic

Not all, but the majority of our family members aren't that awful. They are from different generations, and they have different beliefs. You can't level with them, but you also can stop yourself from overreacting.

However, they still love you. And you obviously love them, so instead of getting hysterical, why not try to accept that you didn't pick them. And neither they chose you. Talk about the good times you shared and be a bit more open-minded.

Some are beyond forgiveness

There's no need to pressure yourself into bonding with your family. Some people merely are beyond justification, and you have the right not to talk to them. It' would be best if you spoke to someone you trust about the issues you had with a specific member of your family.

Any kind of abuse is not acceptable. You don't need to explain to that person what they said or did was wrong. You may, however, want to share that with your parents or siblings because you need someone who will be by your side.

Giving people second chances is a sign of strength and good character. You may discover that you had a misunderstanding, and you'll have one more person to love. Or, you'll find that your family is not the ones you were born into. So, you can move on and create your community or circle of trust. But don't give up on people just like that!