I cherish my relationship with my boyfriend dearly and feel grateful for everything we have together. He is everything I've ever wanted and I never want to take that for granted. Nevertheless, I have to admit that there is one small thing I miss: the thrill of spontaneous hookups. Here's why:
1. I could be whoever I wanted to be
Roleplaying is something that turns me on, whether I choose to be a seductive vixen or a demure virgin. However, it can be challenging to engage my partner in this fantasy world. Having known my boyfriend for so long, it's tough to take him seriously in roleplay. It was much easier to let myself go with someone new and fully indulge in the experience.
2. The sex was always different
Hooking up can be compared to a box of chocolates; it's exciting because you never know what you'll get. I enjoy exploring new ways of having sex, from a slow and sensual experience to a fast and intense one, and I want to try everything. The thrill of wondering how it would feel was exhilarating, and it's something I miss.
3. I felt passionately wanted
Hooking up makes me feel desired in a way that nothing else does. When I'm with my boyfriend, I know he wants me, and vice versa. We don't have to put in much effort anymore since we know we'll end up sleeping together. While it's comforting, I miss the excitement of being pursued.
4. There were no messy emotions to get in the way of pleasure
Having a fight or disagreement with my boyfriend earlier in the evening can ruin our late-night activities. It becomes a routine task, and we end up unsatisfied. On the other hand, when I'm with a hookup buddy, there are no emotions involved, and it's all about pure passion from start to finish.
5. The sex was more satisfying since I wasn't getting it on the reg
It's often said that people desire what they can't have. When I'm not having regular sex, the prospect of a random hookup can make me feel giddy (in my mind, at least). I become more grateful for every small touch, unlike with my boyfriend where it can feel mundane.
6. It forced me to stay in the moment
Hooking up always seemed to pull me out of my head and make me focus on the present moment. Perhaps it was because I didn't know the person and felt a little scared, or maybe it was because it was a new experience. After all, isn't that what everyone is striving for these days?
7. I got to learn new sex positions
The best thing about random hookups was discovering new sex positions. Although my boyfriend and I have some great favorites, I need to read up on new positions to explore more. Trying out new positions expanded my sexual repertoire in unexpected ways.
8. I always had interesting stories to tell my friends
Whenever my friends and I get together these days, they always ask about my relationship, and I always respond with a simple "good." It's become mundane. But when I was hooking up, I had some wild stories to share, involving live animals and silly string.
9. I put more effort into my appearance
During my hooking-up phase, I used to spend more time on my hair and makeup every day. Some may argue it's a waste of time, but for me, it was an act of self-love. When I got into a relationship, I let some of it go, knowing my boyfriend would love me regardless of my appearance. However, I wish I could regain that motivation.
10. I could do whatever I want afterward — there was no pressure to stick around
The beauty of hookups was the complete freedom I had afterward. I could do whatever I wanted, even leave right away if I felt like it. I could watch TV, call a friend, or eat a whole box of cereal without anyone judging me or expecting me to stay. It was pure liberation.
