I Love My Boyfriend But His Mother Is Awful

Although my current boyfriend is amazing with his kindness and thoughtfulness, and unlike any previous jerk I've been with, I struggle to feel the same way about his mother. The issue has become significant enough that it's affecting our relationship.

1. She was my best friend in the beginning

Early on in my relationship, my boyfriend's family welcomed me with open arms, especially his mother. She and I hit it off, and I appreciated her desire to spend time with me. It felt great to be accepted by his family, and I didn't like it when my boyfriend spoke negatively about his mother. However, I eventually understood his reasons for doing so.

2. She only liked me so much because she'd alienated all her other friends

After two months, I realized that his mother's desire to hang out with me constantly was due to her having no other friends. It didn't take long for me to understand why. She spoke negatively about everyone and everything, making me feel like I had never left the drama behind after graduating college. In fact, she might be the most dramatic person I've ever encountered.

3. She always has something to complain about

Every conversation I have with her seems to end negatively, and she complains both to my boyfriend and about him constantly. Despite being grown adults, she constantly involves herself in our lives, despite it not being her concern. I stopped trying to please her a long time ago, as nothing ever seems to satisfy her.

4. I think she's trying to make me hate my boyfriend's dad

My boyfriend and his father have a close relationship, which I appreciate. However, I suspect his mother feels threatened by their bond and attempts to use me to sway my boyfriend's opinion. Despite still being together, she speaks about him as if they were divorced, while he does everything he can to provide her with a good life, including paying all the bills. Despite his efforts, she remains ungrateful and acts like they're competitors instead of partners, which is frustrating to witness.

5. I've never heard her thank anyone for anything

I've gone out of my way to give her gifts and do nice things for her, hoping to win her approval, but she has never once thanked me for any of it. Even when my boyfriend gives her money, she fails to express any gratitude, which I find disgusting. As someone who claims to be a Christian, I believe gratitude should be a virtue she practices, but she never does. It's frustrating to see that she doesn't appreciate anything, adding to the list of things that irritate me about her.

6. She steals from her son

It's hard to believe, but it's true. During the month or so that we were between apartments and living with his parents, she would come into our room while we were sleeping and steal my boyfriend's food and money. Stealing is wrong on its own, but stealing from your own child is unthinkable. I felt the need to say something to my boyfriend, which has resulted in an ongoing argument.

7. She acts like she loves me to my face but talks crap about me when I'm not around

She's constantly praising me for being with her son and expressing how happy she is that we're together, yet she complains about me to my boyfriend behind my back. This is frustrating, and I've voiced my concerns to my boyfriend several times, leading to arguments between us. Every relationship has its challenges, but I never expected his mother to be one of them.

8. She called me an alcoholic when I barely drink

I reached my breaking point when she made a completely unfounded accusation, and it was evident that she was just trying to stir up trouble. Both my boyfriend and I could see her intentions, but it was the final straw for me. I couldn't bear to be around her after that. I understand that my animosity towards her affects my boyfriend and our relationship, but I had suppressed my feelings for too long, and it was time for me to speak up for myself.

9. Her behavior is destroying my relationship with my boyfriend

My boyfriend and I are constantly fighting about his mother. While I understand that she's his mother and he feels a sense of duty to defend her, I can't accept the way she treats both of us. He appears to be too willing to let it slide. She attempts to involve herself in our relationship despite not being welcome, and it's challenging to persuade my boyfriend to address it without causing an argument.

10. I know I need to learn to live with her but it's a serious struggle

Despite moving to a new house, I'm starting to feel like we didn't move far enough away from my boyfriend's mother. While I can't stand her, I acknowledge that she's still his mother and I need to find a way to cope with her. My boyfriend means everything to me, but I can't envision a future where a third party is involved in our relationship. Our relationship is solely between the two of us, so she needs to respect our boundaries.