Self-Improvement

I Lost 70 Pounds In 6 Months And I'm Still Miserable

During my childhood, I was consistently identified as the "big girl". Even now, I still carry that identity, but following my college years, I began to eliminate the sources of my dissatisfaction from my life.

I believed that the only thing I had left to address was the excess weight I carried. So, during the holiday season, I dedicated myself to working tirelessly, both mentally and physically, to reduce my weight.

However, even after shedding 70 pounds in just six months, I was disheartened to discover that my problems did not vanish as I had hoped.

Everyone Thinks They're A Doctor Now

I managed to safely shed the weight by following the explicit instructions given by my doctor who closely monitored my progress. However, despite this, everyone I encountered felt the need to offer unsolicited advice about my well-being. They criticized my eating habits, claiming that I was either consuming too much or too little, as if it were their place to do so. Their constant interference began to make me resent even my closest friends and family, who would offer up their own medical opinions gleaned from WebMD. I'm sorry, Aunt Sally, but I don't care that your boss's wife lost 100 pounds by consuming nothing but carrot soup. Instead, I will choose to heed the advice of the medical professional whom I have been compensating through my co-pays.

It's Expensive As Hell

I once believed that my decision to eat less would lead to significant long-term savings. Unfortunately, I soon discovered how wrong I was. What I failed to consider is that nutritious food options are much costlier than the unhealthy junk food I had been consuming previously. While I did manage to reduce my expenses by avoiding fast-food chains during my lunch break, my grocery bill nearly doubled due to the added expense of buying healthier food items. Additionally, I now have to budget for regular doctor's appointments and my monthly gym membership fees, not to mention the cost of purchasing a new wardrobe to accommodate my 70-pound weight loss.

My Emotions Have Gone Haywire

As someone who has always been an emotional eater, breaking the habit was an uphill battle. Although I was often tempted to indulge in a pint of ice cream, I knew that giving in to such impulses would only worsen my emotional state and perpetuate the unhealthy cycle. Instead, I have learned to replace emotional eating with alternative coping mechanisms such as exercise or getting a good night's sleep.

I've Essentially Swapped Addictions

While exchanging a pint of ice cream for a half-hour of elliptical exercise is undoubtedly a positive change, I realize that I am merely addressing the symptoms of my emotional distress and not the underlying issues that trigger my emotional eating. Although my physical health is improving with each passing day, my emotional state remains unchanged from when I was carrying an extra 70 pounds.

I've Learned Who My True Friends Are

Although most of my family and friends have been incredibly supportive throughout my journey, there are still some people who take pleasure in my failures. It's disheartening to realize that these individuals, whom I genuinely cared for, have distanced themselves from me. I cannot fathom how anyone could denigrate a friend who is making positive changes in their life, but they have. Perhaps it's a manifestation of their own insecurities. They might be fearful that I'll look better than them and they won't have anything to feel good about themselves. Nevertheless, I hope that my hard work pays off, and that I surpass their expectations.

The New-Found Attention Is Terrifying

Before losing weight, I tended to keep to myself and only spent time with a select group of friends. However, after shedding some pounds, I've noticed an increase in attention from guys, especially at the gym or through social media messages. While it was initially flattering, it's becoming tiresome. As my mother wisely advised, those who ignored me before my weight loss don't deserve my attention now that I'm thinner. I fully agree with her and may need to perfect my resting bitch face to deter any unwanted advances.

Very Few Of My Problems Actually Went Away

I embarked on a weight loss journey to tackle what I thought was the worst thing in my life. While it has improved my health and reduced the risk of heart disease and diabetes, other issues still persist. Money problems, social awkwardness, and body image insecurities continue to plague me. Although my stomach is flatter, my breasts are disappearing and my arms are sagging. I mistakenly believed that weight loss would solve all my problems, but it hasn't.

I Will Literally Never Get Enough

I know this may seem like a trivial problem compared to others I've faced, but I can't seem to be satisfied with my weight loss. Even though I've lost 70 pounds, I find myself getting upset that I still have 40 more to lose. And even when I reach my goal weight, I won't be content until I look toned and fit. It's a never-ending cycle of always wanting more. But I know that even when I finally achieve the perfect body, my problems won't magically disappear. However, at least I'll look great while dealing with them.