Mothers are known for their unconditional love. That makes Mother's Day a day of love.
Except for those who have lost their mothers, in which case it is also a day of pain and sorrow.
Every Time This Special Day Draws Near, I Get Anxious And Impatient.
I become emotional and edgy.
What I see is another Mother's Day without the only person who would make it special. My mother.
You would think it would be easier since I have been through this for over a decade, but it's not.
About 113 Million Cards Are Exchanged On Mother's Day
Yep. Imagine that.
But while everyone is celebrating and I am reminiscing on the beautiful memories my mother and I shared, I cannot help but wonder what Anna M. Jarvis felt.
Just to catch you up, Anna M. Jarvis is the woman credited with founding Mother's Day. Ironically, she did it to mark the anniversary of her mother's death in 1908.
So, she was in the same shoes as I am, but while she was celebrating, I am usually grieving the loss of the best person I ever met in this life.
But times have changed. Over time, Mother's Day became a day to be thankful for still having our mothers with us.
Those Of Us Who Don't Have Moms Are Bound To Feel Left Out
On some level, I am glad about the day because I get to remember and celebrate all that my mother did for me. But deep down, I am sad that she is no longer present for me to wrap my arms around.
All the cards sent on this day make me realize how unique mothers truly are. But I secretly wish mine was among those receiving the cards.
The Pain Of Losing A Mother Never Truly Goes Away
You just learn to live with it. But it gets worse at times like these.
I sometimes wonder if people who have never had the love of their mothers got off easy. After all, they have no idea what they are missing.
But then I can also imagine how empty my life would feel if I didn't enjoy my mother's love.
Anyway, loss is loss. There are no winners.
Over Time, I Have Learned To Accept A Number Of Things About Losing A Mother
You just go through phases. Sometimes the pain dulls and you can actually be upbeat about the memories you and your mom shared.
But other times, you hurt so bad it makes you sick to your stomach.
Then there are times you feel hopeful you had your mother teach you so much you can now offer the world.
At other times you feel lucky that you had such a loving person in your life. Then you feel overwhelmed with grief that you lost such a precious treasure.
You Go Through This Rollercoaster Of Emotions On Mother's Day.
So, if like me you are celebrating this Mother's Day without a mother, my heart goes out to you.
I know how deeply you miss her. But my hope and prayer are that the love and beauty she brought into your life lives on through you.
May one day someone be glad they know what a mother's love feels like through you. Make something of the unconditional love your mother gave you. One thing I believe is that her love far exceeded the pain of her passing.