Despite being a grown woman, I still approach romantic relationships as if I were in my early 20s. It's unclear to me whether this is a result of the dating culture around me or something else, but it leaves me feeling uncertain and uncomfortable. I'm unsure of what traditional dating even entails anymore.
1. I never go on real dates
I am uncertain if it is a trend among people my age or if it is just my experience, but I have rarely been asked out on traditional dates by men. It seems that the men I date either lack the financial means or creativity to plan a proper date. Many of my relationships begin as friendships or through work, rather than through traditional dating. This has left me uncertain of how to navigate a typical date.
2. I'm never officially asked out
I am not frequently asked out on dates. Despite my patience, opportunities for dating do not present themselves and I grow tired of being single. I desire physical intimacy and it leads me to settle for casual hookup situations without any progress in dating.
3. I can't find a guy who doesn't just want to Netflix and chill
I yearn for romantic gestures, but it seems that men who engage in this type of behavior are becoming increasingly rare. Many men prefer to take the easy and inexpensive route, which results in me not being treated with the respect and consideration of a grown woman. This is extremely frustrating.
4. If I do amazingly get asked on a date, I'm awkward AF
I am unaccustomed to going on traditional dates, which makes me unsure of how to act or behave during one. I feel nervous and anxious and it's like it takes me aback when I am asked out on a date. It's disheartening that I feel this way.
5. I fall into casual dating
Despite my efforts to change my approach, I continue to fall into the same pattern of dating. I desire to date in a mature and adult manner, but I seem to consistently choose the wrong men. I believe this may be a result of the places I frequent and the people I associate with. I realize that I need to stop meeting potential partners through friends and at work, but I am unsure of alternative ways to meet people.
6. I'm afraid to get excited about new guys
I constantly make an effort to present myself as calm and collected, even though it is not my natural inclination. I fear that if I am too excited or eager, men will lose interest. I do not want to engage in manipulative dating tactics, but I am uncertain of how to proceed otherwise.
7. I end up sucking at communication
I desire to effectively communicate my thoughts and feelings, but my nerves and concerns get in the way. I become overly focused on how I should conduct myself, which results in me not expressing myself clearly. I become flustered and unable to articulate what I want to say. Alternatively, I may delay discussing important matters for too long.
8. I don't want to come across as crazy
It is strange to not know what is expected of me in a relationship. Ideally, I would be able to be my authentic self, but it seems that this approach does not lead to success. I desire for someone to accept and appreciate me for who I am. Is that too much to ask for? I don't believe it should be.
9. I overthink everything
I tend to overthink and overanalyze situations, particularly when I am first dating someone. Despite wanting to act in a mature and composed manner, I often feel like an overeager and confused teenager. I am aware that the person I am dating is likely unaware of the extent of my internal struggle.
10. I expect guys to want to talk as much as I do
I am unsure how to interpret a lack of communication from a potential partner. It makes me feel as though we will never get to know each other and I struggle with patience. I am not accustomed to a traditional pace in the early stages of a relationship as I tend to rush into things too quickly. I am making an effort to change this behavior but it is difficult for me.
11. I get paranoid that guys will lose interest in me
When a man does not consistently give me attention, I am unsure of how to respond. With so many men ghosting frequently, any slight change in behavior makes me worry that they are no longer interested in me. I don't want to constantly question them, but I don't know how else to feel reassured.
12. I want a guy to want me more than I want him
I believe that the only way to ensure my comfort in a relationship is to find a partner who is more invested in me than I am in them. I understand that this is not a mature approach, but I do not want to feel at a disadvantage. I am tired of feeling as though I am the only one who cares in the relationship.
13. I have a preconceived idea of how relationships are supposed to be
I have a preconceived idea of how dating should be, but reality often differs. I become anxious when things don't unfold as I expect. This is because I lack experience in having a balanced, healthy, and mature romantic relationship.
14. I'm easily disappointed and bad at hiding it
I am aware that I hold high expectations in dating. Although I try to avoid this mindset, I often feel disappointed when men do not meet my expectations. This leads to unhappiness and it is clear that I need to reassess my expectations and approach each situation in a more level-headed manner.
15. I have a tough time separating my sense of self-worth from my dating life
This is why I am often more content when I am single. I am comfortable with my own identity and self-worth until I start dating someone. Then, I tend to slip back into my unhealthy pattern of seeking constant validation and approval from my partner. Although I am making an effort to change this dynamic, it is challenging to overcome many years of unhealthy thinking.
16. I'm not great at balancing my regular life and dating
Another reason I rarely date is that I struggle with making time for a relationship. It is often said that if someone is truly worth it, one will make the time, but I am uncertain. I simply do not have the capacity to include another person in my life. I understand that this line of thinking is immature and may lead to remaining single permanently.