Funny

I Got Diarrhea On A First Date & Lived To Tell The Tale

Embarrassing moments on a first date are not uncommon, but my most embarrassing experience involved something truly mortifying. Despite my ability to handle awkward situations, this time was too much for me. I learned that honesty is the best policy and that sometimes you can laugh about it later.

1. It was his idea to go for Indian food

I have always loved spicy food, and I have never had any negative consequences from eating it. I am able to tolerate most spicy dishes without difficulty and have only experienced a few instances where I needed to use the bathroom immediately after leaving a restaurant. However, on this particular first date, I discovered that I was not so fortunate and I had to address the issue before leaving the restaurant.

2. The evening started off as most dates do

We shared our personal stories and flirted throughout the night. I was really into this guy and thought the date was going extremely well. The food was delicious, the conversation was effortless, and I was confident that he would ask me out again before the night was over. He delayed asking for the bill after we finished eating, which I interpreted as a sign that he wanted to continue talking. I was feeling great and had no objection. It was the best date I had had in months, and it was refreshing to finally have a connection with someone on a date.

3. Unfortunately, that was about to be challenged

After finishing our meal, we continued to drink wine when I noticed my stomach growling. I attributed it to the combination of alcohol and curry and decided to reduce my alcohol intake for the remainder of the date, a likely wise decision.

4. I know my body and I know when something isn't right

The sounds from my stomach persisted, and I hoped the noise level in the restaurant would cover them. I had already gone to the bathroom twice, as my bladder is small, and I didn't want to appear excessive by going a third time. I decided to endure it, hoping that the date would end soon.

5. He seriously wouldn't stop talking

Normally, I would be happy with the conversation, as he was attentive and interested in what I had to say. However, my discomfort was affecting my ability to flirt and I worried that I was coming across as distant. I tried to conceal my stomach and continue smiling and laughing, but I feared that he was noticing my discomfort. However, I was mistaken as he continued to flirt and I didn't want to end the good conversation by bringing up my need to use the bathroom.

6. I had to let him know what was up

I finally came to the realization that I needed to be honest about my condition or risk having an embarrassing incident in the middle of a crowded Indian restaurant. I had to be candid with a man I had just met and hope that it wouldn't completely ruin his impression of me. I could tell he was laid back and had a sense of humor, so I hoped that would work in my favor. Regardless of his reaction, it would make for a good story to tell my friends. I just hoped it would not end with him losing interest in seeing me again.

7. I got blunt about it

I informed him that I urgently needed to use the bathroom or else I might defecate in my pants. I felt there was no other way to express it, as I was literally on the edge of my seat. I didn't wait for his response, too ashamed to stick around. I quickly left, and fortunately, the bathroom was empty. I made it just in time and was thankful I hadn't worn restrictive clothing. I quickly lowered my pants and sat on the toilet, relieved that I could continue the evening without further interruption.

8. I was more than prepared to find him gone but much to my surprise, he was still sitting there

I returned to my seat and told him that I felt better now and we could continue our date. I nervously made eye contact and was met with a genuine laugh. He said he admired my honesty and that it was sexy. I was surprised to hear that, but I didn't disagree. We ended the night with a second date and I realized it was the best and worst first date experience I've ever had.