There is a common belief that you will know when you've found "The One." However, I have my doubts about this. Even if it is true, my current boyfriend doesn't fit the bill. I'm unsure of how to tell him that he's only right for me temporarily without leading him on.
1. How Do You Tell A Guy That He's Not Husband Material?
Most men, even those with questionable dating histories, think that their partners view them as exceptional. I don't want to hurt my current partner by revealing that he's just a placeholder for me. It feels like an insult. Just thinking about how the conversation would go gives me a headache.
2. I Don't Want To Hurt Him
Despite considering my boyfriend's feelings, I know that telling him that I don't see a future with him will be painful. It's possible that he envisions a future with me, and I don't want to ruin his aspirations. I can't bear the weight of that kind of emotional baggage.
3. I Feel Like He'll Figure It Out Himself When The Time Is Right
They say that actions speak louder than words, and I've already conveyed my feelings through my behavior, although not through verbal communication. I never leave my belongings at his place, and I insist on driving myself to our meetings. People who are serious about relationships don't do these things. If he's perceptive, he'll catch on to what I'm trying to say.
4. I Could Eventually Change My Mind
Although I'm aware of how self-absorbed this may sound, please hear me out. I've made the mistake of rushing into relationships before, only to regret it later. When you're deeply involved with someone, it can be challenging to see things objectively. Who knows? Something could happen that will give me a new perspective. I don't want to let go of a good guy until I'm confident in my decision.
5. I Don't Want People To Think I'm A Bitch
You know how it goes when you break up with someone in a group of friends; everything changes. If he broke up with you, he's the villain. If you broke up with him, you're to blame. If I were to tell my boyfriend that he's just my backup option, he'd break up with me and make me out to be the bad guy. I don't want to become a social outcast. I've seen it happen, even among women who think you're cruel and shun you. I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself.
6. I Don't Want Other Guys To Avoid Me Like The Plague
As previously stated, I met my boyfriend through a group of friends. There are a few fantastic guys in that circle that I find attractive. Would they make good husbands? I have no idea! However, they could be. I don't want to prejudice them against me before we enter into a possible future relationship. Sometimes you need to think ahead and plan for the future.
7. I Want Us To Stay Friends Should Things End
I'm not completely closing things off, but at the moment, I don't see a future for us as a couple. However, I would like to remain friends with my boyfriend if things go according to my plan. I've witnessed how messy things can get between hostile exes, and I want to avoid that scenario. It can be a nightmare running into each other, and meeting new people who pre-judge you isn't something I'm interested in. Plus, my boyfriend is a fantastic person, and it would be enjoyable to spend time with him as friends.
8. I Don't Want To Be Alone
To some extent, I'm using my boyfriend, but don't we all use one another in some way? How often have you called a friend when you were bored? It's natural for humans to desire relationships, and I'm no exception. I've always been someone who enjoys being in a relationship, and I'm happiest when surrounded by others. I don't believe I'm harming my boyfriend by maintaining our relationship in this way. In fact, I'm confident he's benefiting from it as well. It's worth noting that he hasn't expressed any desire to plan for our future together either.
9. I Want To Be Able To Come Back To Him
I understand that what I'm about to say may not sound pleasant, but honesty is a fundamental value that we uphold here, right? Though expressing such a strong opinion might damage our relationship. I admit that I've had a tendency to believe that the grass is greener on the other side, only to realize later that I was wrong. If that happens again and I'm mistaken in my current assessment, which is not uncommon for someone my age, then I'd like to maintain the option of reconciling in the future. It's not uncommon for couples to break up and then reunite, often due to a change in perspective. If my partner and I were to break up, I'd still like the possibility of rebuilding our relationship.