I Didn't Cry When I Broke Up With My Boyfriend Of 5 Years — Here's Why

Investing five years in a relationship is a considerable amount of time, yet when it eventually came to an end, I felt more relieved than sorrowful. In hindsight, I believe I had already come to terms with our breakup well before it occurred.

1. We both wanted the breakup to happen

After a few months of separation, we reunited on our fifth anniversary and mutually agreed to turn our breakup into a permanent arrangement. The conversation was friendly, and we expressed how we both appreciated the time apart and believed that parting ways was the right decision. Although we briefly discussed the possibility of rekindling our romance, we both knew that we didn't miss each other enough to justify continuing the relationship.

2. I hadn't found him attractive in years

It's difficult to confess, but I lost my attraction towards him early in our relationship. It wasn't that he was unattractive, it was just that I no longer felt sexually drawn to him. I felt embarrassed for feeling this way, as it seemed shallow and insensitive, especially since I truly loved him. I believed that if I worked hard enough on our relationship, the attraction would return, but it only worsened as time passed, and I began to resent his habits. Eventually, his table manners and constant nose-touching repulsed me, and I had to restrain myself from making hurtful comments.

3. I was actually excited to be single for once

Prior to our relationship, I had never experienced being single. We were both young when we got together, and before that, I would always move from one relationship to another. I had missed out on going on vacations with my girlfriends because I was always with him, and I was amazed at the amount of free time I had gained by being single. I'm sure he was also excited about being single, but he was polite enough not to mention it to me directly.

4. I already had other guys to take my mind off the breakup

When we first broke up, it felt like a lot of my male friends suddenly appeared out of nowhere. There were guys I found attractive, but I never suspected they felt the same way about me. However, as soon as they found out I was single, they expressed their true feelings, and I enjoyed the thrill of flirting once again.

5. I cried my tears over him two years previous

I can vividly recall the day when I realized that even the supposed "good guys" can be deceiving. It feels like it happened just yesterday. We were on a holiday trip to Paris when my mother informed me that my grandmother had passed away. Even though we knew it was coming, the news was still difficult to process. While using my partner's phone to send a text message to my father, a notification popped up from someone named "Jennifer". As I opened the message, my heart sank as I read an explicit message about what she wanted him to do to her. I frantically scrolled through his inbox and discovered that they had been exchanging messages for three months, including times when he was with me and my family on Christmas day, after I left his place, and even while he was at work. Overwhelmed by emotion, I ran out of the hotel and into the pouring rain. My tears mixed with the raindrops, creating a dramatic scene straight out of a movie. Although we talked about it and he claimed it was just words and nothing physical ever happened, he deleted her number and apologized, I couldn't bring myself to forgive him completely. The damage had already been done.

6. We tried to remain friends but he had double standards

After meeting through mutual friends and knowing each other for a long time, we decided it was best to remain friends. However, things took a turn when he became possessive and resentful towards me dating other people, even though he was seeing other people himself. His behavior became increasingly hurtful, and there was too much history between us to salvage the friendship.

7. Any sadness I had quickly turned to anger

Right before we broke up, I had just finished a year of work in France, which was an incredible opportunity that he never fully supported. Despite this, we managed to stay together, with me coming home four times that year and him visiting me the same number of times. We were able to see each other almost every month. However, after our breakup, he started to call and text me late at night, drunk and bitter. He claimed to have spent the last year trying to get over me, but it was news to me since he never mentioned it before. It was a shame he didn't let me know earlier, especially since I paid for him to visit me in France.

8. Time apart allowed me to realize how different our life goals were

In reality, he wanted a typical life in our hometown with a mundane job that we probably wouldn't enjoy, living for the weekends. He also wanted to travel around the country to follow his favorite bands, and he desired a partner who would blindly follow him and his plans. Unfortunately, that's not the kind of person I am.

9. If I had stayed with him, my life would be drastically different now

I believe that if I had stayed with him, I wouldn't have had the breadth of life experiences that I've had. I certainly wouldn't be working in a job that I love, living back in France, and I wouldn't have become the person I am today. It seems like everything worked out for the best.