I Dated A Guy Who Refused To Get A Job & This Is What I Learned

I fell in love with a man who was unemployed and unfortunately, our story did not have a happy ending. It's difficult to have a successful relationship when one partner refuses to work and I learned this lesson firsthand.

1. If He's Lazy In Life, He'll Be Lazy In The Relationship Too

He was lacking motivation in all areas of his life, and I foolishly believed that our relationship would be an exception. But he proved me wrong - he was unwilling to put in the effort to find a job and was content with being lazy. He was not only failing in his career, but he also never put effort into being a good partner to me. It was clear that he simply didn't care enough.

2. He Has No Sense Of Pride

He had a false sense of confidence, likely due to his low self-esteem. Without a job, he felt that he had no value or worth to society. He pretended to be content with his aimless existence, but deep down he was ashamed of his lack of ambition and drive. Despite this, he was still too lazy to make any changes and improve his situation.

3. He Expects Everything To Be Handed To Him

As the baby of the family, he had been spoiled and never learned the value of hard work. He believed that life should be easy and would quickly give up on any task that required effort. Instead of earning money through hard work, he preferred to rely on guilt and manipulation to get what he wanted. In his mind, if something was worth having, it should come easily without any real effort on his part.

4. He Mooches Off From Everyone, Including Me

I dated a man who never had any money but still wanted to go out and have a good time. He would only agree to go out if someone else was willing to pay for him and would use the sympathy card to get his way. He was fun to be around, but I didn't want to constantly have to pay for everything. Money is not everything, but it is an important factor in a relationship and it was clear that he was not able to contribute financially.

5. If You're Not Going Out, You're Just Hanging Out

Due to his financial struggles, we were often limited in the activities we could do together. It didn't feel like a genuine partnership. We couldn't go on dates or celebrate holidays or do anything that required spending money. Unless I was willing to financially support him, we didn't do much of anything. It seemed that my money was all he really cared about in the relationship.

6. If His Life Isn't Moving Forward, He's Just Going To Hold Me Back

I learned from experience that there is no future with a man who is unemployed. I felt stuck in the relationship because he had no motivation to better himself or build a stable future. It was impossible to make plans or have any sense of security because he was content with just getting by and doing the bare minimum. It was clear that he had no ambition or drive to create a better life for himself, and I couldn't see a future with someone like that.

7. I Need Someone Who's Going Down The Same Path As I Am

As a driven and independent woman, I want a partner who can keep up with me and share my goals and ambition. I don't want to be held back by someone who is lazy and unambitious. I want to live life to the fullest and that's not possible if we are just sitting around doing nothing. I need a partner who is willing to work hard and strive for success alongside me.

8. Wanting A Guy With A Job Doesn't Make Me A Gold Digger

It's not solely about the money, although it is important to have financial stability in a relationship. I don't expect a man to financially support me, but I also don't want to constantly bear the burden of paying for everything. More than that, I want a partner who is driven and passionate about something in their life. I want someone who has a sense of purpose and motivation to get out of bed in the morning. A job does more than just provide a paycheck - it gives a sense of accomplishment and helps to build a fulfilling life.

9. Lazy People Are Selfish People

Our relationship was always one-sided, with everything centered around his needs and wants. This was a pattern in all of his relationships, both romantic and platonic. He was so focused on his own dependency on others that he never considered the needs, wants, or happiness of those around him. He saw others as merely a means to his own survival and was unable to be a truly selfless and supportive partner. He was stuck in his own selfish bubble and could never be truly committed to a relationship.

10. A Man Who Won't Get A Job Is Just Plain Immature

Ultimately, he was unable to be a responsible adult. He was unable to take care of himself and had a "Peter Pan" mentality, refusing to grow up and take on the responsibilities of adulthood. This included getting a job and being self-sufficient. From this experience, I learned that a man who cannot handle the basic responsibilities of life is not ready for a mature and committed relationship.