I dated a guy for a few rough years, then met a wonderful man and cheated on my boyfriend. When I realized I was attracted to the new guy, I should have ended things with my boyfriend, but I didn't. I acknowledge that cheating was wrong and hurt my ex-boyfriend. However, I have no regrets about my decision and have been in a fantastic relationship with the new guy for four years now. While I don't condone cheating, it taught me valuable lessons, and it was one of the best choices I've made (although I have no intention of doing it again).

1. It got me out of a very controlling and mentally abusive relationship

Subconsciously, I knew I lacked the courage to end things with him through other means, and so I resorted to this act, which I believed would be the demise of our relationship. Although it didn't happen immediately, six months later, I finally found myself liberated.

2. It taught me what it felt like to actually be loved

My betrayal wasn't just physical; I also engaged in emotional infidelity for several months before becoming physically involved with the other man. He treated me with kindness, respect, and honesty, and he was unafraid to express his love for me. He didn't pressure me or back down easily, which were qualities I had never experienced before and found incredibly gratifying.

3. It gave me insight on why men may have cheated on me

Throughout my life, I've experienced being betrayed by several partners, which always led to the immediate end of the relationship. However, upon reflection, I've come to realize that those relationships were not built on a strong foundation in the first place, and cheating was merely a cowardly way out for both parties involved.

4. It made me feel like I mattered

While I understand that not everyone has had a positive experience with cheating, mine was different because it wasn't just physical intimacy; it was emotionally fulfilling. My former partner never made an effort to make me feel valued, but the person I cheated with made me feel special every day. I felt beautiful and significant, and even today, I still hold a special place in his life.

5. It made me work even harder in my new relationship

I don't feel ashamed of how my relationship with 'the other man' began, but I understand the pain it may have caused him. I always remember that our relationship started because of my infidelity, and I sometimes worry if he thinks I might cheat on him too. I reassure him that he is the only one for me, and he has never expressed any concerns or doubts. I have remained faithful to him throughout our relationship.

6. It gave me new perspective on relationships

If you've never been unfaithful to your partner, you might be inclined to judge those who have. I used to be that way as well, believing that leaving someone before cheating was the right thing to do if you were unhappy. But now I understand that it's not always that simple. While I still believe it's best to end a relationship before anyone gets hurt, I recognize that it's easier said than done. As a result, I am much less quick to judge these days.

7. I realized things about myself I never knew

Cheating was something I never thought I was capable of. It was frightening to realize that I was capable of causing someone harm and not feeling guilty about it. However, I'm grateful that I now understand my capacity for infidelity and will take steps to ensure that it never happens again.

8. It helped me learn to forgive myself

Being a perfectionist and Type A personality, I tend to be very hard on myself. Forgiving myself and allowing myself to make mistakes is a struggle for me. I used to believe that I deserved endless punishment for cheating, but my partner never punished me or brought it up during our four years together. As a result, I've learned to forgive myself, not just in this situation, but in life as well.

9. I now approach relationship problems differently

I don't want to cheat again, not because I feel remorse for my actions, but because I understand that it's avoidable and I can achieve what I desire without resorting to infidelity. While I am currently content in my relationship, I am aware that if I were to become unhappy, I must be vigilant and make decisions that I will stand by.