Despite considering myself a confident and rational woman, I have always felt the need for validation from my boyfriend to ensure that he still likes me. However, I am making a considerable effort to address my insecurities and bring about a positive change in myself. These are the ways in which I am trying to accomplish this goal:
1. I'm Working On My Confidence
Seeking external validation is a byproduct of my lack of self-confidence. I acknowledge that it is not my boyfriend's responsibility to reinforce my self-worth, and I must believe in myself. Without confidence, I will never achieve success in my career or relationship. I need to accept myself as I am and stop seeking validation. It is easier said than done, but I am determined to succeed.
2. I No Longer Put Him On A Pedestal
In the past, I made the mistake of idolizing my boyfriend to an unhealthy degree. Although I want to love and respect my partner, my behavior was potentially hazardous. By elevating my boyfriend and seeking validation from him, I diminished my own worth. Now, I understand that even the ideal partner has flaws, and I must not focus too much on my own worries. Instead, I try to be mindful of the fact that my boyfriend is just a regular human being.
3. I Make Sure My Relationship Is A Two-Way Street
Forgetting that every relationship requires effort from both parties is a mistake I've made in the past. It's not enough for me to be a good girlfriend; my boyfriend also needs to put in work. I don't want to be seen as merely his fan, therapist, or mother. It's crucial for him to appreciate me for who I am and not just for how I try to please him. If he's only using me, then that's not a healthy relationship.
4. I See Us As Complete Equals
I believe that a healthy relationship requires equality between partners. I won't be submissive to make my boyfriend like me because it's not the 1950s anymore. If he already likes me for who I am, pretending to be emotionally fragile or insecure will only drive him away. In a strong relationship, there should be no need for mind games.
5. I'm Learning To Love Myself First And Foremost
To have a successful relationship, I must treat myself with the same respect that I want from my partner. I've struggled to believe guys in the past who have said they love me, and this has often caused problems in my relationships. This need for validation is a sign that I lack self-love, which is something I need to work on. If I can learn to love myself and my life as they are, my relationship will have a better chance of success.
6. I Question My Motivations And Readiness For Being In A Relationship
In the past, I had a habit of seeking validation from my boyfriends due to my lack of self-awareness. However, since taking the time to understand myself before entering another relationship, I have been able to reduce this behavior. I am determined to break this cycle completely.
7. I Take Responsibility For My Own Anxieties And Paranoias
Rather than repeatedly asking my boyfriend if he likes me, I now communicate with him about why I feel the need for validation. I express my concerns, such as feeling inadequate or intimidated by his success, and allow myself to be vulnerable. I take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
8. I Consciously Decide To Trust Him 100 Percent
After reflecting on my behavior, I asked myself some important questions. Did I truly trust my boyfriend when he said he loved only me and completely? Did I lack trust in our relationship? Breaking down my thoughts and feelings helped me realize that my paranoia was unfounded. Although my issue is not completely resolved, I now have implicit trust in my boyfriend.
9. I'm Constantly Improving My Communication Skills
Expressing emotions can be challenging for some individuals, including my boyfriend and many men. As a result, I frequently request that he share his feelings to ensure that I understand his emotional state. Despite my concerns about his receptiveness, I candidly expressed my needs to him, and the outcome was quite the opposite. As a result of our conversation, we converse more frequently, and it has proven to be quite beneficial.
10. I Rely On My Bffs To Calm Me Down
Evaluating a situation from an external perspective can be advantageous. My closest friends are always honest with me, even if their words may be difficult to hear. Their objective insight allowed me to see things more clearly, giving me a new perspective on the situation. This has significantly aided me in gaining a better understanding of the circumstances.