I Almost Lost Myself Loving You

I Almost Lost Myself Loving You

Meeting you showed me how to love. But it wasn't fun or easy. You made me learn how much I loved you by allowing you to break me a little bit at a time. Even with the pain, the suffering, the sadness, and everything else, my love for you was unshakeable.

I loved you unconditionally. I held nothing back. But my assumption was that you would give me the same love. But that was a fantasy because that was the least of your concerns.

Although you were more than willing to take all I had to give and even more, you had nothing to offer in return. I kept emptying myself for your sake. I was crushing under the weight of the confusion I was experiencing. You capitalized on my insecurities.

When I fell in love with you, you had it all. You were happy and charming. You were my best friend, and it was so easy to love you. You cared, and you were humble. You had a purpose, and we spent many light moments together.

Your charming eyes kept me drawn to you, and we got closer in other ways

And then I realized you had feelings for someone else. I was devastated because I did not see it coming. All I wanted was for you to be happy, so, I accepted it even though it was killing me.

I stood by you when you were at your worst. Nobody else cared, but I did. I dropped everything to be there for you. I did not care if it was day or night, all I wanted was for you to get better.

My greatest desire was to see your warm smile and see the sparkle in your eyes once again. I wanted us to get through it. And I believed that we had a long rewarding journey ahead of us.

But I was wrong

Your only interest was to exploit me and my goodness. I was willing to pay any price to be by your side. And though I did it with genuine concern, I believed you would do the same for me if the roles were reversed.

But you only remembered me when you needed something. We did not see much of each other or talk much.

The distance that was coming between us became greater and greater.

I became a temporary solution to whatever problems you were facing in life. It was your last option, and that was killing me.

Regardless of all that, I want you to know that I am thankful for you.

In your own cruel way, you made me realize how much I deserved, I got stronger because of you

Because of your coldness, I can know what to expect from the right person. Because of your unsuitability as a partner, I now know what to expect in a partner.

I understand the things I cannot stand for.

I know we have not spoken in years. We are not even Facebook friends.

I know you are happy wherever you are. I guess you are building a nice little family, as I am.

You taught me what I deserve by denying everything I deserve to get from a loving partner.

You were not worthy of me or what I had to give, but you helped me realize what I was worth.

I appreciate that. So, thank you.