One aspect of being in a relationship is learning who your significant other genuinely is. Unfortunately, my exploration into my partner's identity led me to uncover some undesirable facts: my former partner was involved in drug dealing, and I had no prior knowledge of it.
1. We Met Online And Hit It Off
Although our relationship was brief, it was intense. We met on a dating website and decided to meet in person. What began as a coffee date quickly turned into a seven-hour conversation, during which we connected and laughed. I was captivated by him - a soft-spoken bookworm who contrasted my boisterous, outspoken personality. I appreciated his gentle demeanor.
2. I Started Hanging Out At His House
Looking back now, I realize that there were many obvious warning signs that I chose to ignore. However, hindsight is always 20/20, and at the time, I didn't question it. I think a lot of my obliviousness had to do with his appearance. He wasn't a large, intimidating man's man; rather, he was a cute, nerdy guy with a kind heart and a goofy smile. When he would get up and answer the door multiple times at night, I assumed he just had a busy social life. He explained to me that it was just some friends who lacked social etiquette and would ask for things at all hours. I thought the strong scent of Febreze in his apartment was simply him being considerate. The cash lying around was just the result of him working two jobs, as he had told me. I know, I know...
3. I Eventually Discovered The Truth
One night, I had finally had enough after being disturbed by multiple doorbell rings and constant phone buzzing in the middle of the night. It wasn't often that I stayed over at my ex's place, but when I did, I never got any sleep. So, I got up and walked to the door when someone knocked. My ex's reaction to my approach was suspicious and made me question what was really going on. As I flung the door open, I saw an unfamiliar, imposing man who asked me where my ex was because he "needed his stuff." My ex avoided my gaze and pulled out multiple baggies of drugs from his back pocket, handing them to the man in exchange for money. In that moment, I became fully aware of what was happening.
4. To Be Honest, I Had No Idea Just How Involved In This World He Truly Was
As I lay on the couch, my mind was racing with questions. Did he sell drugs only to a small circle of friends or was he part of a larger operation? How could I have missed all the warning signs? Despite feeling uncomfortable and scared, I didn't leave immediately because it was late at night and I didn't feel safe walking home alone. As I tried to fall asleep, I kept telling myself that maybe it was just a mistake, that we were young and he didn't intend to hurt me. But deep down, I knew that what I had witnessed was a serious problem that couldn't be ignored.
5. He Apologized And I Caved In Like An Idiot
To be honest, I had my own insecurities that made me feel like I wouldn't find another partner. So, when my ex apologized and came back, I did something incredibly foolish: I forgave him and started using drugs with him. As a naive 18-year-old barely in college, I was upset about what he had done, but I didn't want to lose him. I put everything else aside and went down a really dark path. I convinced myself that this was just the way things were going to be and that he was the only man I'd ever be with. Looking back, it makes me cringe.
6. I Started Doing Drugs To Keep Up With Him And A Month Later, He Broke Up With Me
I consider myself fortunate because my ex actually cared for me and recognized that I was using drugs mainly for his benefit. I enjoyed the feeling of being high, and I didn't want to be stressed from my studies, but more foolishly, I wanted to stay with him. For an entire month, I studied to become a teacher while completely stoned before my ex dropped me off at my apartment and said he wouldn't see me again for my own good. He told me that I deserved better than the life he was giving me, and he refused to further mess me up. He genuinely cared about my well-being. We never talked again.
7. Being Left Was The Best Thing That Could Have Happened
Looking back, I can now see what a blessing his departure was for me. That day marked a turning point in my life, as I made a vow to never touch drugs again and stuck to it. It was a challenging journey, but it was ultimately worth it. My academic performance improved, and I started seeing a therapist to understand how I allowed myself to end up in such a situation. I realized my thought patterns were dangerous, and my self-esteem was so low that I settled for being with a drug dealer. Clearly, I needed to work on valuing myself. I later learned that my ex was a notorious dealer in the state, but I haven't heard from him since. Although I do wonder about him from time to time, I'm grateful that I got away.
